Sometimes, it is impossible to parody The New York Times and the people who appear in its pages. This is from a recent Vows column, a regular feature which just-married couples talk about what brought them together, and how their love was born. This is the story of Miami Heat star Udonis Haslem and his longtime girlfriend, who recently became his bride. Read on:

By May 2001, however, she and Mr. Haslem had become a couple, spending most of their free time together.

Their first challenge took place the following spring when she became pregnant. It was her junior and his senior year, and he had begun training for the N.B.A. draft. Despite the pregnancy, she was busy with track meets and helping him complete homework. The timing was bad.

“I am not a huge fan of abortion, but we both had sports careers, plus we could not financially handle a baby,” said Mr. Haslem, noting how he struggled with supporting Kedonis, the son he had in high school, who is now 14 and who lives with his mother.

“Udonis appreciated that I was willing to have an abortion,” Ms. Rein said. “I found him caring, supportive, nurturing and all over me to be sure I was O.K. I saw another side of him during that difficult time and fell deeply in love. He had a big heart and was the whole package.”

Imagine that: aborting your unborn child as a romantic experience boasted of in the Times. Utterly gruesome. As David French observed:

Something so seemingly innocuous as a wedding announcement turns out to reveal all too much about the Left’s view of life