In the clip above, Leslie, a star of the reality show “Big Rich Texas” — filmed in the Dallas/Fort Worth area, naturally —  offers tips on how to stage a stylish baptism in one’s backyard swimming pool, where the water may be cleaner than those messy church fonts. She uses the made-up word “baptee” (= candidate for baptism), and offers this sage advice to women vesting for the beginning of a new Christian’s eternal life: “This is not the time to be boobalicious.”

She is serious.

There will always be a Texas. There has to be.