This past Sunday, a Messianic Jewish “rabbi” by the name of Ralph Messer went before an Atlanta megachurch congregation and opened a Torah scroll he claims is a 312-year-old artifact rescued from “Auschwitz-Birkendall.”

“On behalf of the Jewish people, the land of Israel, and the God of Israel, I want to make a presentation,” he said. Turns out that this spokesman for world Judaism and Ha-Shem Hisself wrapped “Bishop” Eddie Long, the megachurch’s pastor — now going through a divorce from his second wife in the wake of a sexual harassment lawsuit against him by four male former congregants — and declared that Eddie Long is now a King, chosen by God, raised up above this earth into the heavenly realm.

King Eddie I of Atlanta. Hoo boy Oy. This is crackpottery of the highest order, and boy, is it entertaining. H.L. Mencken, you should have lived to see this. Wil Gafney details all the theological and historical nonsense spouted by Ralph Messer in this phony ritual. Is there anything American religion can’t do? Or won’t do?

(H/T to Ben, the reader who sent it to me as “Dreher bait.” May you find favor in King Eddie’s sight!)