Sit down, my people, and read the craziest true story you will read this year or maybe even this decade. 

It is written by a journalist named Kera Bolonik, who has made an extremely complicated story comprehensible, in the sense that she recalls a logical progression of events. Nothing else about it makes sense. It’s a story about a liberal Harvard Law professor who is a world-historical boob — and about how two grifters (a transwoman and his best friend) stole his house and used Title IX to further ruin his life.

In 2015, a mysterious young woman named Maria-Pia Shuman flirted with Prof. Bruce Hay in a Cambridge hardware store. Hay, who makes Pajama Boy come off like Vin Diesel.  is married, but he and his wife, Jennifer Zacks, live together with their children as roommates, no longer lovers. What would a little fling with the sexy young woman hurt? Excerpt:

A few weeks later, she texted to say she was returning to Cambridge and wanted to see him. They met the next day at the Sheraton Commander and had sex. Almost as soon as it was over, Shuman’s mood shifted. She became dour, then angry, telling him she couldn’t abide his keeping their relationship a secret, nor what he says she referred to as his “continued attachment” to Zacks. She demanded he leave her. Hay was confounded. He wasn’t about to leave his partner of 28 years for a woman he’d slept with twice. He got dressed and left.

Later that day, Shuman contacted him to say she was open to discussing pursuing a relationship. When Hay demurred, she told him, in that case, she didn’t see any point in staying in touch.

But they would stay in touch. Over the next four years, the law professor would be drawn into a “campaign of fraud, extortion, and false accusations,” as one of his lawyers would later say in legal proceedings. At one point, Hay’s family would be left suddenly homeless. At another, owing to what his lawyer has described as the “weaponiz[ation] of the university’s Title IX machinery against Hay,” he would find himself indefinitely suspended from his job. He would accrue over $300,000 in legal bills with no end to the litigation in sight. “Maria-Pia and Mischa want money,” Hay told me last summer, “but only for the sake of squeezing it out of people — it’s the exertion of power.”

“Mischa,” by the way, is Mischa Haider, a male-to-female transgender Harvard physics student. It turns out that Maria-Pia moved in with Mischa Haider and her male boyfriend, and they decided to raise Maria-Pia’s children together as a throuple … and Prof. Hay, the mark, wanted in. More:

Hay’s relationship with the women could be intoxicating. Even in an international, liberal college town like Cambridge, Hay had never encountered anyone like them, “nearly perfect people” who were “bright and kind and sweet to their children and socially conscious,” and whose family composed a striking, distinctly modern portrait: Haider, a loquacious, impassioned Indian-Pakistani trans woman physicist, the mother of two children (who call her “Maman”) birthed by the sultry, soft-spoken French daughter of a major Jewish American songwriter (she’s called “Sumi”). (Haider’s boyfriend Klein, Hay later discovered, also helped raise the children, who refer to him as “Daddy.”)

Hay wanted both families to meet, certain that they could find a way to make peace. “I had this crazy idea that everyone could get along, that Jennifer would like them,” he says. He wouldn’t sacrifice his existing family, but he didn’t want to abandon the family he believed he was building with the women.

Read it all. Trust me. I’m not going to go further here, because to tell even just a piece of it without telling the whole story would not do it justice. You have to read to see what these insane grifters did to this moron and his innocent wife and kids. It really does read like Fatal Attraction meets a transgender Bonfire of the Vanities. Golden quote: “I just really hate the patriarchy, that’s it.”

Perfect:

This piece should be mandatory reading for conservatives. It’s virtually a parody of ivory tower liberalism. pic.twitter.com/kaVzURyGx1

— Alex Griswold (@HashtagGriswold) July 23, 2019

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

It really and truly is. I first learned about it from a gay reader, who sent me the link and said:

I read this and thought, “Dreher couldn’t have made this up in his worst nightmare.” I don’t know where to begin, but the story has it all–decadence in our elite institutions, erosion of due process, a bizarre transgender subplot, Modern Family-style living arrangements.

Exactly. You can’t keep crazypants liberals from blowing up their lives, but from a public policy point of view, the most important question raised by this story is: What is it going to take to get Title IX reform? 

UPDATE: A couple of readers have sent me this incredibly bitter piece that Bruce Hay wrote for Salon.com right after Justice Antonin Scalia died in 2016. Look at this:

I am close to one of the victims of his operation, a transgender woman named Mischa Haider, whom I got to know during the course of her work on a Ph.D. in physics at Harvard. She’s an extraordinary polymath — gifted violinist, writer and novelist; fluent speaker of a half-dozen languages; math genius. And physicist. Her intellect would have made our brilliant Justice want to hide his head in a bag, to borrow his charming words from last year’s marriage equality ruling. Those who have any doubt about trans mothers should meet Mischa’s children.

More:

So that is Antonin Scalia’s contribution to physics. To drive a woman with a luminous mind from the study of quantum theory and statistical mechanics and condensed matter, and into the urgent project of safeguarding vulnerable people from the inhumanity he dedicated his life to spreading. An inhumanity that survives as his true legacy, safeguarded by deluded acolytes and admirers.

Scalia passed away in his sleep at a luxurious hunting lodge. He died as he lived, gun at hand, dreaming of killing helpless prey from a position of safety and comfort. May his successor on the Court have a loftier vision of law, and of life.

What a pluperfect jackass! Hard to feel too sorry for him, I gotta say.