I tried, y'all, I tried. I tried not to go for the easy lay-up, the low-hanging fruit, of baw-headed pervert pin-up Sam Brinton being arrested in Minneapolis for stealing a woman's luggage at the airport. But then the Daily Mail, my favorite newspaper, went and published this, and my gosh, you'd have to have a heart of stone not to roll around in this Dreherbait like a hound dog on a two-day-old dead armadillo:

The Biden administration's non-binary nuclear waste guru was a presenter at a fetish conference in LA, weeks after admitting stealing a woman's suitcase at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport. 

Last Saturday, Sam Brinton, Deputy Assistant Secretary of the Office of Spent Fuel and Waste Disposition, who could be facing five years in prison for the bag theft, presented a seminar titled: 'Spanking: From Calculus To Chemistry.'

The seminar was held at Westin Bonaventure Hotel & Suites in Los Angeles, where Brinton, 34, stayed on Friday and Saturday night. The event was titled: 'LA Leather Getaway' and was sponsored by CLAW Corp., a national leather charity. 

Brinton, who presented at the event under the pseudonym, NuclearNerd, has been teaching their 'Physics of Kink' class at universities and community events 'across the country for years,' according to their profile on CLAW's website.

The bio goes on to say: 'They have been active in the kink world since 2013, host monthly kink parties in their dungeon in Washington, DC, and estimate they have spanked over 2,000 cute butts.' 

This top government official advertises parties in his Washington, DC, sex dungeon. Biden Administration ethics in action!

More:

Brinton describes himself as being an MIT graduate but adds that they is 'more social than most.' 

'Proud Sir and lover of my long term submissive and husband boundand - love to keep him tied up and ready to be used as needed.' 

Brinton goes on: 'I am sadistic but will always respect limits and am happy to push them as you need. Bondage and control are my fortes... Flogging, chastity, fisting, electro... I've done them all and will happily put a guy through them. My passion for kink comes through getting a guy to a fun submissive head space.' 

The Department of Energy official adds: 'Oh... I tend to give the best spankings you've ever received. Not cocky, just proud of my red a***s.' 

To get an idea of the seminars and classes at the CLAW conference, click here. Stuff like, "Advanced Flogging" and "Cowboy Rope Bondage" -- don't worry, no photos there!

The Daily Mail reports that Brinton is "on leave" from the DOE. He ought to be fired, the disgraceful sicko. He never, ever should have been hired in the first place. Does this demonstrably unstable man have a security clearance? This is how we roll in Weimar America, I guess.