Alice “Daughter of Sam” Walton, who is worth over $20 billion, was arrested for drunk driving in Texas on her 62nd birthday. That’s a pretty unflattering mugshot.  This isn’t the first time Walton has had a run-in with the law for drinking and driving. Thank goodness she didn’t hurt others, or herself. With Tim Rogers, from whom I stole this entire item, I agree: if you’re worth $20 billion — that’s three to five times what Rupert Murdoch is worth — why the heck would you drive anywhere? Why wouldn’t you hire teetotaling French dwarves to pootle your drunk butt around in a Maybach, or something?

This business is actually not funny. More about Mr. Sam’s troubled child:

She’s had more than a few problems with drink and fast cars, including one episode when she struck and killed a 50-year-old mother of two with her Porsche (no charges were ever brought) and another when she was pulled over for drink-driving in 1998 after hitting a gas meter and tried to lord it over her arresting officer with the immortal words: “I’m Alice Walton, bitch!” When she was prosecuted, she ended up having to pay a glaringly modest $925 fine. Ms Walton moved to Texas and settled on her ranch.

I think the Parker County police must be practicing class warfare against this poor old rich lady. Probably Obama’s fault, some kind of way. I certainly hope the money to bail her out of the pokey came from the US taxpayer. It’s only fitting that we pay for the failings of the super-rich.