Hey, I can understand why some people are really interested in the theory that William Shakespeare was not really the author of plays attributed to him, that he was the literary beard for someone else. I don’t care, but I can see why literature professors and theatergoers would find this topic worthwhile. I hope they enjoy the film “Anonymous,” which opens this weekend, though it sounds to me like Dan Brown for English majors.

But I gotta say: Really? I can’t imagine that this film, with Vanessa Redgrave and other top-flight English actors, was cheap to make. Does the studio really expect to make a penny on this thing? How big could the audience possibly be? I’m always up for a good British costume drama, but … this? What am I not getting? Help me here.