A reader sends this jaw-dropping story, appropriately titling it, “Portlandia The Pure”:

Shortly after 1 a.m. Wednesday, a 19-year-old in a hoodie and baggy jeans was captured on a grainy black-and-white surveillance video urinating into a reservoir that slakes the thirst of Portland, Ore.’s 600,000 or so residents. (Cue the disgusted “Ewwwwwwwws!” right here.)

But really, Portland Water Bureau officials, do you have to flush 38 million gallons of potable water for the sake of a cup or two of human urine? That’s how much the bladder comfortably holds, although the bladder in question obviously wasn’t comfortable.

People of Portland: Birds and fish poo and pee in your reservoir water all the time! You waste 38 million gallons of water, and you forfeit all claims to be ecologically friendly, or even ecologically sane.

On the other hand, maybe the urinator is a Mormon, or worse, a Republican. In Portlandia, that changes everything!