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Poor Joe Biden

Brutus held a blade; Pelosi wielded a machine.

President Joe Biden And Vice President Kamala Harris Speak In Maryland

This was the Democratic Party at its most violent.

Nancy Pelosi had barely suffered through one round of “We love Joe” before the California senator pursed her lips in sweet satisfaction. Even Piers Morgan could see it for what it was, writing plainly: “She knifed Joe” in a Tuesday-morning tweet. Democracy’s ugly deed had been done again—and, in my life, I never felt more sympathetic toward President Joe Biden.

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Most of America had long gone to bed by the time Biden finally spoke in the wee morning hours on Tuesday at the Democratic National Convention in Chicago. Though convention officials argued they “skipped elements” of Monday’s program to hasten Biden’s arrival, the fact they scheduled the 81-year-old to speak at nearly 11 pm ET in the first place told the real story. 

“This is awful,” wrote a longtime Biden aide. “He literally set up a campaign and handed it over to them—do they have to cut him out of prime time?"

There, on its biggest stage, the Democratic Party flaunted its unrepentant bloodlust for the nation and world to see. Brutus held a blade; Pelosi and Co. wielded a machine. Such is the political thievery of our America. 

And though the night was billed as an official farewell for Biden, it was three women who stole the show. 

Vice President Kamala Harris surprised everyone when she walked onto the stage at the United Center in a tan suit early Monday to kick off ceremonies. Beyoncé’s “Freedom” blared over the speakers as thousands of blue-clad Democrats screamed their hearts out. 

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Hillary Clinton, once loathed by her own party, received a minute-long standing ovation. “Something is happening!” she yelled to the baying throng. Years removed from her acrimonious battles with Trump, Clinton beamed brighter than ever. Monday night at the DNC, in many ways, appeared to be Clinton 2016 realized—high-powered, professional women taking center stage in a once male-dominated sphere. 

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) was cheered with such fervor that her speech was repeatedly interrupted, not by pro-Palestinian protesters, but by party faithful who loved what they heard. Within an hour of her speech, pundits were already predicting AOC’s ascension to the top of future Democratic presidential tickets.

Here was the unified vision of the Democrat’s future. It was all a far cry from the worrying days of that blundering Biden who looked destined for defeat only a month ago. 

The rare super blue moon was streaking across my lawn in west Texas by the time Biden took the stage early Tuesday morning. In his darkest hour, Biden hammered through a late-night speech that was delayed over and over again by a raucous Democratic crowd brimming with new purpose and new stars. Much of the energy that had rippled through the convention hall earlier in the evening was sufficiently zapped. 

The speech was classic Biden—a partisan haymaker that pitted himself and the Democrats, the forces of light, fighting against dark tremors. Biden argued he had “rebuilt the backbone” of America in the years since the Covid-19 outbreak. He championed his fight to turn back Vladimir Putin from Ukraine. He sidestepped Israel, and no one was the least bothered. 

Dressed in a dark navy suit and carrying the knowledge that this was in fact, the end, Biden aimed to broker new consensus in the Democratic Party, extending an olive branch to those who stabbed him in the back only weeks prior, when his presidency and his legacy hung in the balance.

“All this talk about how I’m angry at all the people who said I should step down—it’s not true,” Biden roared. 

Though he tried, Biden could not escape his trademark gaffes. “Kamala and I are committed to strengthening illegal immigration!” he shouted at the teleprompter in one dreadful miss. Later, the crowd at the United Center in Chicago laughed—awkwardly, not overtly unkindly—as Biden badly bungled another read.

Even when Biden sincerely confronted the reality concretely in front of him, muffled laughter could be heard throughout the convention hall: “I would have been too young to be in the Senate because I wasn’t 30 yet, and too old to stay as president.” 

The former Delaware senator finally admitted what we all by now knew to be true: that though there had been two attempted political assassinations this election season, only one had come off—Biden’s.

The look of disappointment rested upon the face of First Lady Jill Biden. Hunter made an appearance at the end, but no one seemed to care. The curtain had finally and unceremoniously closed on America’s first (and hopefully last) basement president.