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The Gay Waitress Vs. Bigots Hoax

When I saw the story the other day about the lesbian waitress who was stiffed for a tip by a couple of customers who disapproved of her homosexuality, I thought it was awful, but I held off on commenting because something didn’t seem quite right about it. Good thing that I did, because it was almost certainly a despicable hoax: [1]

Two weeks ago, the story of a gay waitress who said she was refused a tip by a New Jersey couple [2] went viral. But now, as with so many other viral stories, the account appears too good—or, in this case, awful—to be true [3]: The couple has come forward with their copy of the receipt and their credit card statement as proof that the whole thing was a hoax.

On November 13, Dayna Morales, a former Marine and current server at Gallop Asian Bistro in Bridgewater, New Jersey claims she waited on a couple that insisted on calling her “Dan” and left a hateful note instead of a tip: “sorry I cannot tip because I do not agree with your lifestyle & the way you live your life,” the note allegedly read. Morales sent a photo of the note to Have a Gay Day [4], and it quickly went viral, generating thousands in donations for Morales.

But this week, a couple claiming to have been Morales’ customers that night contacted NBC 4 New York  [3]with seemingly irrefutable proof that Morales—or the restaurant—made the whole thing up: a copy of their receipt—with generous tip—that matches the total and timestamp of the receipt that Morales posted with a corresponding credit card statement.

Turns out that the couple claims they are actually in favor of gay rights, and refused to vote for Chris Christie for governor because he opposes same-sex marriage. When the TV station contacted the restaurant and the lesbian waitress to confront them with the new evidence, they started crawfishing. Note well that people have been donating money to Morales on the basis of her story.

So, this may well be a despicable hoax, but look on the bright side: Oberlin can end the campus lockdown [5] it has no doubt imposed since news of the, um, gratuitous hate crime in Jersey emerged, and let its students leave the safety of their campus and go home for Thanksgiving.

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57 Comments To "The Gay Waitress Vs. Bigots Hoax"

#1 Comment By Siarlys Jenkins On November 27, 2013 @ 6:50 pm

I can’t remember if I’ve ever agreed with John of Dorset before, but it would be much better to get rid of tips, and raise the wage level for food service to the same that applies to other occupations, from minimum wage on up.

As things are though, since the minimum wage is about one third what it is for everyone else, on the facile assumption “they get lots of tips,” we need to tip with that very much in mind. The tip is part of the MINIMUM wage, until we prevail upon our elected representatives to change that.

#2 Comment By Tracy On November 28, 2013 @ 6:07 am

I’m a knuckle-draggin’, Bible-believin’ Catholic — a traditionalist Catholic at that (which undoubtedly puts my IQ at around 73) — and have this as one item in an “Examination of Conscience” list I have on my site. An “Examination of Conscience” is a process Catholics undergo to find their faults and repent of them so they can become better people. It’s something we do especially before going to Confession. The item:

Do I treat service personnel (waitresses, waiters, clerks, busboys, maids, doormen, etc.) with dignity, respect, and consideration, and without condescension? Do I consider their time and feelings? Do I tip well, given my means, in cultures where tipping is considered the norm and, in essence, “wages”?

And as a Christian, I would never consider it my business in any way to know what a server’s “lifestyle” is like (how would one know in the first place?), and would never refuse to tip if I were to somehow find out that a server is a fellow sinner, like everyone else on planet earth.

Really, the dissing of Christians must STOP. What this waitress was apparently trying to intimate is that the couple she claimed stiffed her were Christians who were all offended about her “lifestyle” (AND “the way she lived her life” LOL). That is the real hate crime, and no one seems to care about it — or has even bothered to mention it!

#3 Comment By Siarlys Jenkins On November 28, 2013 @ 12:09 pm

Really, the dissing of Christians must STOP.

Wholesale, yes. The dissing of any demographic wholesale must stop.

But, there are more persistent and credible reports from a variety of wait staff that some not insignificant fraction of Christians go out for dinner after church on Sundays, and either give measly tips, or leave a Bible tract in place of a tip. As far as I recall, Roman Catholics are not prominently mentioned as among the perps. Certain brands of evangelical Protestant seem to predominate, and that doesn’t mean ALL of those do it either.

Tracy’s examination of conscience is a good example. Its not universally practiced. His examination (and confession and absolution) do not clear each and every Christian of all accusation, imputation, or transgression.

#4 Comment By MBrown On November 28, 2013 @ 2:05 pm


The reason that some of us might be coming across a bit happy about this having been revealed as a hoax is that the hoax was designed to malign a particular class of people (traditionalist Christians), of whom we are a part. Further, some of us were accused of being heartless bigots for saying at the beginning that this appeared to be a hoax.

So, yes, a little bit of “I told you so” is going on, here, and it isn’t exactly inappropriate.

#5 Comment By Citizen George On November 28, 2013 @ 3:39 pm


ML/NJ says:

November 26, 2013 at 7:52 pm

“I always try to find out right away if my server is a queer.”

I wonder how you go about doing that? And WHY you would.

[NFR: I think the commenter was being sarcastic. At least I hope he/she was. — RD]

#6 Comment By AdamK On November 29, 2013 @ 5:01 pm

It’s being reported that this woman is a habitual liar. Looks like there’s some mental illness involved. Perhaps a Christian might respond with compassion.


#7 Comment By Siarlys Jenkins On November 29, 2013 @ 5:46 pm

MBrown: Knock your socks off.

AdamK: Could be some mental illness involved. The commission of a crime makes one liable to be deprived of liberty. Perhaps confinement should be in a mental health facility, if there is an involuntary factor that can be treated.