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Sh*t Crunchy Parents Say

Courtesy of a reader, who wants to know why on earth I didn’t trademark “crunchy”:

These are pretty funny, but I wonder what a crunchy con variations would be? Suggestions? How about:

“You could do it that way, but Dr. Weston A. Price says… .”

“Are y’all doing CC next year, or what?”

“I don’t know, we might be starting a home church soon.”

“Father says it’s not okay to wear Birkenstocks to liturgy, unless you have socks on.”

“Ron Paul!”

“Mom, honestly, there’s nothing unsafe about making your own baby food.”

“My conservative parents think I’m a liberal because Fox News drives me crazy.”

“My liberal friends think I’m a liberal because Fox News drives me crazy.”

“We took all nine kids to the Novus Ordo last week, and it kind of freaked them out.”

“RINO? Like I care.”

Your suggestions, please.

about the author

Rod Dreher is a senior editor at The American Conservative. He has written and edited for the New York Post, The Dallas Morning News, National Review, the South Florida Sun-Sentinel, the Washington Times, and the Baton Rouge Advocate. Rod’s commentary has been published in The Wall Street Journal, Commentary, the Weekly Standard, Beliefnet, and Real Simple, among other publications, and he has appeared on NPR, ABC News, CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, and the BBC. He lives in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, with his wife Julie and their three children. He has also written four books, The Little Way of Ruthie Leming, Crunchy Cons, How Dante Can Save Your Life, and The Benedict Option.

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