‘Mommy, What’s A Pansexual?’
A reader sends in this video from the longtime Nickelodeon children’s television staple “Blues Clues,” in which in teaching little bitties about the alphabet, Blue the Dog teaches them to acquaint themselves with the symbols of LGBT Pride.
Bet you thought you could set your preschooler down in front of “Blues Clues” and not have to worry about culture-war propaganda. Wrong! So, when your little one asks you, “Mommy, what do those flags mean?”, you’ll be ready to answer the query planted by “Blues Clues” if you familiarize yourself with this guide:
Starting from the top of the image above (the light blue, light pink, and white flag), going clockwise, we have:
Now, what are you going to say when your four-year-old asks you what a pansexual is? A non-binary? Don’t expect me to do your homework for you!
When Peppa Pig goes to Pride, as she inevitably will, you will need to familiarize yourself with the many other emblems indicating sexual orientation and desire, so you can initiate your children into what pop culture producers hold to be useful knowledge for tots. Here are some helpful guides:
“Mommy, what’s Pony Pride? Do Ponies play with Bears?”
“Daddy, is Twink Pride for people who like Twinkies?”
“Grandma, is Leather Pride better than Rubber Pride?”
Oh, the fun you’ll have answering all these child questions! Thanks, “Blues Clues”! Thanks, Nickelodeon, and your parent company, Viacom CBS! Thanks, Hollywood! How would we ever raise kids without you?
(In all seriousness: withdraw, withdraw, withdraw. You can’t fight this stuff, only shield your kids from it as best you can. Benedict Option now!)