The “largest figure revealed in the light of the financial crisis”? Could it be John McCain, who heroically suspended his campaign, bounded back to Washington, and … went to a meeting? Or maybe Barack Obama, who projected signature cool (or cluelessness) while the markets convulsed? Perhaps Henry Paulson, Goldman Sachs’ inside man, or even Depression ace Ben Bernanke? None of those if you ask Michael Gerson. For him, the right answer, of course and always, is George W. Bush.

His primetime address couldn’t move a majority of his own caucus—much less a country deaf to his wolf cries ever since Iraqi children didn’t greet us with yellowcake. And rather than charting a way through the crisis, Bush just provided bewildered narration.

But in Gersonland, the Liberator’s “strategic boldness”—otherwise known as blind dogmatism—will always lead us to glory. “When Paulson and Bernanke came to the president in mid-September, warning of an imminent financial meltdown,” he writes. “Bush’s reaction was typical. He told Paulson not to worry about the politics and to propose whatever was economically necessary.” You’re doing a heckava job, Hank!

Even Gerson’s concessions are compliments: “Bush’s ambition, bias toward action, and indifference to political pressure are sometimes criticized.” Iraq? Katrina? Turns out they only went south because the president “ignored [his] instincts.” Now he’s back to trusting his gut—which surely knows all about credit default swamps—and, Gerson merrily reports, Bush’s “ideology” is tailored to the moment.

Cue the collective “so what.” Only someone who has committed his career to carrying W’s coat can’t see the total irrelevance of this president and his ideology. For the rest of us, that may be the best news of this bleak week.