Oh my freaking downtwinkles. This cannot be topped or parodied:

The Occupy Wall Street volunteer kitchen staff launched a “counter” revolution yesterday — because they’re angry about working 18-hour days to provide food for “professional homeless” people and ex-cons masquerading as protesters.

For three days beginning tomorrow, the cooks will serve only brown rice and other spartan grub instead of the usual menu of organic chicken and vegetables, spaghetti bolognese, and roasted beet and sheep’s-milk-cheese salad.

UPDATE: In the comments thread, Jaybird says that, “John Kennedy Toole could not have written this any funnier.” True! Remember Ignatius’s telegram to Myrna Minkoff in New York after he’d decided to subvert the system by creating a “sodomite” political party for peace?:

MYRNA FORM PEACE PARTY CENTRAL COMMITTEE NORTHEAST ZONE AT ONCE STOP ORGANIZE AT EVERY LEVEL STOP RECRUIT SODOMITES ONLY STOP SEX IN POLITICS STOP DETAILS WILL FOLLOW STOP IGNATIUS NATIONAL CHAIRMAN STOP

Maybe the OWS cooks would be happier if they took them a little rest at Charity. Anyway, start reading here to learn of Ignatius’s plan to “Save the World Through Degeneracy.”