This was the Frenchiest thing I encountered all weekend. We were all sitting around full of turkey and dressing and looking for something mind-rotting to watch. I said to my brother-in-law, “You’re not going to believe how bizarre this is. It’s like eating fondant by the handful.” It was supposed to be only five minutes of gaping at the horror, but then our wives joined us. We couldn’t stop watching:

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Edqk-jQAm1Y?rel=0&w=525&h=330]

But wait, there’s more:

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSM4E4OMCD4?rel=0&w=525&h=330]

My wife remarked, “Gene Kelly is the only man who can show up in a movie wearing a pink shirt and white trousers, and look completely masculine.”

Nineteen-sixty-seven, seems so long ago.

Here is the second Frenchiest thing I saw all weekend:

It’s a May-December marriage for Mary-Kate Olsen.

The 29-year-old former child actress tied the knot with her French banker beau of three years, Olivier Sarkozy, 46, at an intimate Manhattan ceremony on Friday night, a source said.

The reception was held at a private residence on 49th Street, between Second and Third avenues; cocktails were served in a rear garden before the 50 guests dined indoors. Attendees were required to turn in their cellphones beforehand.

Party decor consisted of “bowls and bowls filled with cigarettes, and everyone smoked the whole night,” the source said.

That’s the half-brother of former French president Nicolas Sarkozy, who also smokes, as does his wife Carla Bruni.