Commenter “Annie” wrote the following in response to my “Making Christianity Weird Again” post. The whole thing is worth a read; the highlighted parts below are those I’ve chosen to emphasize. Keep in mind that the all-caps “WEIRD” below does not refer to “WEIRD” in all caps as we have used it before on this blog (for Western Educated Industrial Rich and Democratic); instead, she means … well, it’s clear what she means. Come to think of it, the two are connected (Thursday, amirite?). Read on:

If we want to know wonder, we have to know risk. I suspect part of the reason we’ve failed our youth is because of the shared mutual-persecution we engage in regarding child-rearing. It’s bad form to be “WEIRD”, to allow the risk that leads to wonder. As we’ve de-sacralized marriage, sex, pregnancy, vocations, our stewardship of nature, we’ve compensated by hallowing new fields: childhood, health. And as we’ve made childhood risks taboo, we’ve taken their chances for communion with reality away. We’ve built walls around them. An adult in our culture can still be permitted to wander about and seek the WEIRD, but our society says we have no right to impose that on our children.

I’ve spent many years working with children in every conceivable setting. Again and again I’ve seen certified, qualified teachers, caregivers, doctors, and religious folk fail their children. They won’t discuss death. They dare not introduce awe. They yank their child down from the tree before they can even climb one branch. We Must Manage Children’s Health. They must not have leisure time. They must not have independent play. They must not wander. They must not be allowed to grieve or hear of death or pain. The parent must wear a happy mask, never showing their humanity, never giving their child a chance to grow or show maturity. Every childhood problem demands the intervention of elites, otherwise we are Bad Parents.

Personally, I think the new creed of protecting children from everything has failed children. We deprive them of choice, independence, moral growth, creativity, burdening them with busy schedules and flashing lights. My view is not the popular one, but having seen children respond with eager grace when I articulated my weariness, of children aching to care for a tree, or the chance for real responsibility which might shock and please their parents; well, those things have made me believe we deprive our children of so much in the dominant, current culture.

The Catholic school I work at fills their rooms with smartboards, their children with apps and ipads, kids go to coding summer camps, they do internships in the wealthy cities of the world, and parents boast about how “Everyone keeps saying our parents are the craziest Catholic school sports parents around!!” We may end our emails with the words “God Bless”, we may recite the Our Father in the morning, but how is our faith manifesting? We are obsessed with systems and technique and worldly success. God forbid I judge their hearts too much – they do the best with what they know. If they refuse worldly values of material success and technique they will be seen as bad parents. So what they offer is a sterilized world, neutered of hard choices. The children are ushered between SUVs and buildings, with nary a glimpse of the bare, icy trees overhead. How can they see wonder in the stars when we blanket them out, when they are only allowed in the fenced-in backyard if the weather is over 50 degrees?

They are told they can be engineers, leaders, grow up and join a committee board for fundraisers and athletic events, just like their parents. These same parents who no longer read books but watch tv shows, who are obsessed with fundraisers and sports scores, who skip Mass for basketball practice, who blink at the word ‘fast’ but will spend $100 on a one-week juice cleanse, believe success lies in corner-room office and not in manual labor trades: these parents are constantly stressed and exhausted and tired! This is the happiness and success we offer. The WEIRD is nowhere to be found. We cut ourselves off from it, afraid, and we cut our children off from it, even more afraid. I believe in the values of marriage, the theology of the body, but the world of marriage and family we offer these children is devoid of grace, challenges, awe, sacrifice, or love.

How can they find the WEIRD? If a parent lets their child walk alone down the street, CPS will be on their doorstep. If we want the WEIRD, we must take risks. Being human is a risk-taking adventure. Machines and algorithms have no space for grace to enter. If we want the WEIRD, we must accept a loss of control. That’s a terrible choice for the parent and the individual, and even harder in a society which persecutes those who don’t helicopter-parent, those who value their children’s moral health over their material wealth. I cherish wonder and moral independence, but, as a conservative traditionalist, I know the choices I make regarding raising my children will be as deeply troubling to many cultural Catholics as it is to the Bobos. If we want to work to create chances to encounter the WEIRD, not only do we have to take risks, but we have to be willing not judge our neighbor’s choices when they take certain risks. We have to not engage in competitive parenting. We have to support our community, not build walls around our own backyard. We have to value something more than safety. It’s terribly difficult. I don’t know if we have it in us.

Here is Dante, writing in Canto XIV of Purgatorio, with some words related to Annie’s point. The speaker is Virgil:

“The heavens wheeling round you call to you

revealing their eternal beauties — yet,

you keep your eyes fixed on the ground alone,

 

And He, the All-Discerning, strikes you down.”

If we refuse mystery and awe, we will suffer for it.