We Are in the Golden Age of Parody Songs
Things may be bleak, but sometimes you just have to laugh.
Did you know there was a whole genre out there of Joe Biden parody tunes? Most are quite professional, and riff off popular songs to mock the president. Some focus on Joe himself, falling here, sniffing a little girl’s hair there, while others prey on poor Hunter Biden, forced to make sleazy deals with Ukraine and China just to earn a living. Let’s take a look.
One of the best is “Walk Like Joe Biden,” an AI tour de force that makes it seems like the Bangles are recreating their 1980s hit song “Walk Like an Egyptian” with new lyrics mocking old Joe (do yourself a favor and follow the links with a right click, so they open in a new window and you can get back here for the rest of the list). The video unfolds with a montage of Joe slipping and falling in various locales and looking befuddled at numerous podiums.
Then there are the lyrics—“the American president is doomed, the little old man can hardly move” and a shout out that Joe’s chances of being re-elected are “dangling just like Hunter’s cigarette.” The song warns that, “if you want to know where it stops, it ends with dementia and the cops.” The meta-gag of course are instructions on how to walk like Joe, back stiff, arms locked down, feet shuffling, as events spiral past. You could watch any Biden blooper reel for much of the same effect, but this has music that sticks in your head. Five stars!
Crossing musical styles is “C’mon Man,” a sing-song pseudo-rap AI extravaganza. The kicker here is each stupid thing “Biden” raps is an actual Biden quote—all the misspent words and jangled phrases, plus the boasts about Cornpop and Joe’s many careers as a truck driver and Olive Garden server. The music part is just not as strong as “Walk Like an Egyptian,” but it is good enough. Four stars.
The singer with the nom de guerre of Parody Whitney has produced several Biden song parodies. A good one is “An Old Man’s Time,” sung appropriately to the New Year’s tune “Auld Lang Syne” with some out-of-place drum machine in the background. Talking about Joe’s penchant for serial groping, the song notes “at least he’s too slow to give chase.” For something more up-tempo, check out Whitney’s “Yakety Yak” rendition, which also plays over the now-familiar shots of Biden’s chronic tumbles.
Next up is a take on the holiday favorite “Frosty the Snowman,” dubbing Biden “a geriatric soul, with befuddled eyes and a curious nose.” By the second verse, the “Snow Man” has become “the slow man” and the song is off running through the now-familiar Biden memes. Finally there’s “I’m Too Sketchy for This (White) House” sung to the classic Right Said Fred tune “I'm Too Sexy for My Shirt.” Four Stars for all.
Sticking with the classics is a wicked “Wizard of Oz” parody featuring Biden as the Scarecrow (“no brains”) and Nancy Pelosi as the Wicked Witch who is melted away by song’s end. Along the way, Scarecrow meets up with an earnest AOC as Dorothy (clearly the best use of CGI since the technology was invented) and, wait for it, Donald Trump as the Great and Powerful Oz on his fiery throne. Joe as the Scarecrow lip syncing to the original tune “If I Only Had a Brain” is worth the price of admission. Another four stars for this one, folks.
Funnier lyrics but lower production values hold back another worthy take on “Wizard of Oz,” this one again with Biden as the Scarecrow. You know the song “If I Only Had a Brain,” but try it with these words: “I could concentrate for hours, my presidential powers, to compensate Ukraine” and to handle Hunter, “To avoid repercussions I could pin it on the Russians, if I only had a brain.” Three stars.
If you are old enough or cool enough to remember the 1970s, you must remember the band Foghat, known for their head-banging stadium concerts. The guitar rocker “Slow Ride” becomes “Slow Biden,” carried through with a righteous drumline. In addition to the great music, this one scores with some Biden clips rarely seen (“If you’re having trouble choosing between me and Trump, you ain’t black”) and plenty of the more familiar sniffing, groping, and stumbling visuals. Two and a half stars, man.
If it is Hunter you’re after, there is no better place to start then “Crack in the Cradle: The Joe and Hunter Biden Story,” sung to the tune of Harry Chapin’s immortal “Cat’s in the Cradle.” As Hunter croons, "You know I'm gonna be like you, Dad,” you may even tear up a smidgen. The apple does not fall very far from the tree. A stand-out line from the chorus: “And there’s crack in his cradle and a spoon in his bib, Little Hunter Biden had whores in his crib.” Kinda says it all. Four stars, despite low production values and some NSFW words for the clever lyrics.
Similar comments on another Hunter Biden parody song, based on “Old Man” by Neil Young—“Old man, take a look at my life, I’m a lot like you….” There is also, almost inevitably, a take off of Eric Clapton’s “Cocaine” starring Hunter Biden and that mystery bag of marching powder found in the White House. (Here’s another version.) Then there’s “Hunter Bought A Gun,” a parody of Aerosmith’s “Janie’s Got A Gun.” The Bidens give you an awful lot to work with.
To be fair, there are three Trump parody songs for every one Biden parody, so, for balance, try “I Fought the Law (and the Law Won)” for its genius-level editing of Trump clips to give the impression the Orange Man is singing. The video gives you the song straight and makes its jokes via visuals of Trump dancing, the raid on Mar-a-Lago, and more. The uber joke, with the song's title mirroring Trump’s legal woes, scores again and again. Similar comments for the one-joke (but it's a good one joke) parody of Trump appearing to sing “I Will Survive.” Five yuge stars.
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Check out “The Donald Called Down to Georgia,” a parody of all that post-election kerfuffle that is now in the courts, sung of course to the tune of “The Devil Went Down to Georgia.” Try out these lyrics: “The Donald called down to Georgia he was looking for some votes to steal, he was in a bind ‘cause he was way behind, and he was tryin’ to make a deal.” Some NSFW lyrics here and there, and a hunk of decent fiddle-playing carry this one. Three stars.
Honorable mention to a brilliantly understated version of Talking Heads’ “Once in a Lifetime” with Trump’s head superimposed over real singer David Byrne doing that dance. The line “How did I get here?” rings especially poignantly, but they left out one of the most appropriate lines: “Is this my beautiful wife?” Same as it ever was.
And don’t miss Donald Trump singing “Leaving On a Jet Plane” by John Denver, with the sad goodbye lyrics shown over images of boxes of classified documents being hauled out of the White House. If that amuses you, don't miss “(Wasted Away Again in) Mar-a-Lagoville” with some rougher editing around Trump himself singing the Jimmy Buffet classic—“some people claim that it’s Putin to blame, but no, it still ain’t my fault.”