Heaven Is For Real!
This is really happening. In the world:
Bruce Jenner is ready for his complete transformation into womanhood.
The 65-year-old Olympian has already picked out a female name to use after his full transition, which he revealed during the recently taped sit-down interview with Diane Sawyer.
Though the name is not yet publicly known, a source told Us Weekly he refers to her “in the third person.”
His woman name! Let joy be unconfined! The interview will air in May. It’s like the Super Bowl for us Ignatians. I texted a drinking buddy to tell him I’m coming over to watch this thing and drink whiskey on the big night. He replied, “Heaven is for real!” Verily.
The Kardashian family is the gift that keeps on giving. It’s not so much that he’s becoming a transsexual as it is that he’s making a media production of it. America first learned about the Kardashian family when the patriarch, of blessed memory, defended O.J. Simpson, Kim Kardashian’s godfather. Next, they came to national prominence in 2007, when a homemade sex tape of Kim Kardashian “leaked” and became a porn bestseller. Then came the reality series. And now, the Kardashian prince consort’s chop-off as a spinoff. As our Maître said, “What degenerate produced this abortion?”
Hold me, Miss Trixie. I’m having a moment.
Meanwhile, this [UPDATE: Dang it, this is not real, but something Ellen DeGeneres’s producers put together. Brilliant! — RD]:
I feel an ecumenical consonance in the Force, between the Ignatians and the Cosimanian Orthodox. I think tomorrow, I will have to drive to New Orleans to see some Mardi Gras parades and genuflect before the statue on Canal Street (see above).
UPDATE: Go, Texans, go!
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