Delete Your Amazon Prime Account. Now.
At this very moment, all across the country, a hundred thousand tongues are wagging about the state of the conservative movement. I’m sorry to say, they wag in vain. There is no conservative movement in America. There never has been, and I doubt there ever will be.
Of course, there are folks who call themselves conservatives, and some even do a passable impression. But whether or not they’re really conservatives, they’re certainly not a movement. I’d say that movement is the thing we want most from conservatives, and the last thing we’re likely to get.
It’s funny, when you think about it. Our friends on the left are still in a tizzy about the Capitol Hill “insurrection.” Meanwhile, here in New Hampshire, a man being charged in the riots is planning to run for Congress. “Despite my ongoing legal problems, I’m supposed to live my best life,” Jason Riddle told NBC.
When asked why he broke into the Capitol, Mr. Riddle said, “I just had to see it.” His home was raided by the FBI after he posted a photo of himself drinking a bottle of wine he stole from a (Republican) senator’s office. Not exactly Che Guevara, is he?
No, I’m afraid those who fear an imminent right-wing coup give us too much credit. Watching Fox News, posting Ben Shapiro quotes on Facebook, and casting the occasional ballot: that’s pretty much the extent of our activism.
And that, if you’re wondering, is why conservatives always lose. It’s why we’ll go on losing until the last Bible-thumping, MAGA-hatted redneck in Georgia dyes his hair blue, cuts off his penis, and starts calling himself Cheryl. We deserve to lose. And, when we do, we’ll have no one to blame but ourselves.
It doesn’t have to be this way, comrades. We have the means to win; we only lack the will. If we want to secure the future for our families, our liberties, our faith, and our country, it will take more than flapping our arms and screeching about how Democrats are the real racists.
What we need now is what Theodore Roosevelt called “a genuine and permanent moral awakening.” We have to do more, and we have to make do with less.
You know as well as I do that Big Business is the engine of American radicalism. Call it Cultural Marxism, or Critical Race Theory, or the Great Reset—whatever. It’s all the same thing. And it’s all being funded, directed, and enforced by a cabal of super-wealthy elites on Wall Street and in Silicon Valley.
This cabal has bought up the U.S. government wholesale. That’s why the Federal Reserve is helping multitrillion-dollar companies like BlackRock buy up whole neighborhoods, turning a generation of Americans into permatenants. I’d like to call them “serfs,” but that would be an insult to feudalism. Serfs at least couldn’t be evicted from their homes, and they got to keep more of what they earned than the modern renter.
As Russell Kirk said, “conservatives are persuaded that freedom and property are closely linked.” Any attack on property, then—whether it comes from Big Government or Big Business—is an attack on our freedom. Conservatives have a duty to resist corporatism no less stridently than we resist socialism.
And the BlackRock affair is only the latest example of corporatist “soft tyranny” to pop up in the news cycle. There’s also Disney kowtowing to the Chicoms. There’s PayPal barring clients they dub “white supremacists,” which will soon include everyone to the right of President Harris. If you need more examples, Rod Dreher has catalogued them meticulously in his new book Live Not By Lies.
But surely you don’t need more examples. In June of 2021, no American can possibly be unaware that corporate America is at war with middle America. No one can be so naïve. No one can be so blind.
Any legislation we can pass to break up these multinational monopolies should be hailed by every middle American, left- or right-wing. But legislation won’t be enough. The government cannot and will not fix a problem it helped to create. You can’t regulate the Leviathan to death. You have to starve it.
The only way to break up the oligarchy is to stop giving them our money. Yes, this will be inconvenient. It would mean only buying from small and medium-sized business. It might mean paying $2.00 for a loaf of bread instead of $1.85—which, for many families (like my own), would add up over a couple of months. But as our fathers knew, austerity is the price of freedom. We have to make these sacrifices for the sake of our family and friends, our country and our countrymen.
So, where do we begin?
Today is Prime Day, the second most important feast-day in the Church of Consumerism after Black Friday.
Again, I don’t need to rehash all of Amazon’s sins. I don’t need to remind you that they abuse their workers and cheat small businesses. You already know how they bankroll left-wing groups like Black Lives Matter and censor right-wing voices like Ryan Anderson’s. You’ve even heard about their “Sidewalk” system: sleeper agents of technocracy embedded in every single one of Amazon’s smart devices.
But Amazon is more than a gigantic parasite gorging itself on the lifeblood of American enterprise. It’s the perfect symbol of late-capitalist decadence.
The first Prime Day was “celebrated” in 2015. Six years later, studies show that at least 60 percent of U.S. households have a Prime membership. Some researchers put that number at 80 percent or more.
Practically overnight, well over half of Americans became dependent on Amazon. It changed the way we earn, the way we spend. It changed our whole way of life. Today, most of us can’t remember how we survived in that period future historians will refer to as B.P.—Before Prime. And when our grandchildren are all huddled in their Prime Cubes eating their Prime Gruel and watching the ninth remake of Good Omens, they’ll remember that we made it all possible—inevitable, even. They’ll remember that America traded its soul for free two-day shipping.
So, dear comrades, on this glorious Prime Day, I’m asking you to make this one small sacrifice: cancel your Prime membership. Don’t wait until tomorrow so you can take advantage of all the sweet deals. Last Prime Day, Amazon profits spiked 25,000 percent. Not this year. Declare your independence from King Jeff, today.
This may seem like asking a lot. That’s part of the problem. When you feel like you can’t stop drinking, that’s when you know you have to stop drinking. When you feel like you can’t live without Amazon, that’s when you know it’s time to quit.
I deleted my membership a few years ago. It’s true, I’ve had to cut back on my e-commerce. Way back. Basically, it’s just ThriftBooks now.
But, like we said, austerity is the cost of freedom. Think of yourself as a Londoner during the Blitz, going without bacon and butter so Tommy can whip the Third Reich.
And it won’t be nearly so bad as that. I promise you, there is life after Prime.
If we can’t make this one small sacrifice for a freer and fairer America, conservatives will lose. We’ll lose everything. And we’ll deserve it.
Again, take it from Teddy:
Those who oppose reform will do well to remember that ruin in its worst form is inevitable if our national life brings us nothing better than swollen fortunes for the few and the triumph in both politics and business of a sordid and selfish materialism.
Happy Prime Day, folks. Delete your account.