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Anti-Gay Telescope Tyranny!

As we know, the sum total of human scientific endeavor must be judged by the question: Is it good for the gays?
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You think: that just has to be the Babylon Bee, right? Nope -- it's part of the Microsoft News network, same as MSNBC. From the story:

NASA has shared the James Webb Space Telescope’s (JWST) first high-resolution images of deep space, including some galaxies pictured 13 billion years ago—not long after the Big Bang. But despite this remarkable achievement for science, the JWST continues to stand as a bitter reminder of our country’s willingness to tolerate and even memorialize queerphobia.

The JWST first came under controversy last year when it came to light that its namesake, James Webb, oversaw the Lavender Scare during his tenure as NASA’s second administrator. The Lavender Scare was a McCarthy-era moral panic in which suspected queer employees were exposed and purged from government positions.

Of particular concern was the firing of NASA employee Clifford L. Norton as a result of “‘immoral conduct’ and for possessing personality traits which render him ‘unsuitable for further Government employment.’” This took place after the Lavender Scare, while Webb was still administrator in charge of these kinds of security investigations.

Because really, when you think about it, the only thing significant about a scientist's life is how he felt about gay people in the 1950s. NPR, naturally, tried to warn the space agency last fall to turn back from its gay-bashing ways, but NASA for some reason wouldn't listen.

When Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez becomes our Woke Cromwell, they will rename the Webb telescope the Big Freedia Space Telescope, or, alternatively, they will blow it up so our vision of deep space isn't tainted by homophobe emanations.

Beloved New Orleans trans performer Big Freedia

In related news, the fabulously woke Greek Archbishop of New York, Elpidiphoros, may be getting a lot of backlash from fellow Orthodox clergy and laity (who have changed his name from "Elpidiphoros," "bringer of hope," to "Elpidoktonos," "destroyer of hope") for uncanonically baptizing the bred-by-surrogates children of a rich American gay male couple, but never let it be said that he is failing to diversity his ministry. Archbishop Elvis now has the NYC chapter of the far-left Greek atheist movement SYRIZA on his side. Excerpt:

The SYRIZA – Progressive Alliance New York Group of Members declares its full support to Archbishop Elpidoforos of America against the immoral attack he has been receiving for a few days from church and far-right circles. These obscurantist and reactionary circles are calling for his removal, due to his performance of the baptism ceremony of two children of a same-sex couple in the Holy Temple of Athens on Saturday 7-9-2022.

This action by the Archbishop, which supports same-sex couples and recognizes the same rights as other citizens, is welcome and absolutely necessary if the Orthodox Church wants to keep pace with the modern inclusive society, without excluding people based on their sexual orientation and of their identity or that of their parents.

The next government of SYRIZA – Progressive Alliance must legislate the right to marry with full rights for all same-sex and non-formal couples, expanding the legislative section introduced in 2015 (Law 4356) by extending the cohabitation agreement to same-sex couples. Equality and equal rights have no exceptions.

Take that, you Slavic, Georgian, Romanian, and Arabic Orthodox! History is apparently not on your side. You don't need a space telescope to see that all of history, the sum total of human endeavor, and the will of the All-Holy and Eternal God, can only be understood in light of the not-at-all narcissistic LGBT movement. Duh!