Surely this has to be the most tasteless Valentine’s Day present not sold at Spencer Gifts. It’s a Fifty Shades of Grey teddy bear. Look:

From the ad copy:

If you want to dominate Valentine’s Day, skip the roses and send the limited-edition Fifty Shades of Grey Bear. Inspired by the best-selling book, the adult gift is specially designed for fans obsessed with Grey, biting their lips with anticipation over the movie. He features smoldering gray eyes, a suit and satin tie, mask – even mini handcuffs. Handmade in Vermont, USA using the silkiest fur we can get our paws on; smooth, faux-suede details and 100% recycled stuffing. Guaranteed for life.
15″ Fifty Shades of Grey® Bear
KK0015958 $89.99

Whatevs.