I’ve spent the afternoon cooking, trying to work out all that pent-up meatfulness I built up over the long Lenten fast. Above, the product of my labors: a pot of meatballs, and a beef brisket (those are strips of truffled cured sausage on top; I larded the brisket with a few of them, and put the rest on top to bathe the beef in their luscious fat). The brisket is not quite ready; I put it back into the oven after I shot this so it could finish, burning off the onion squeezings and turning a chestnutty brown color.

I am reminded of a Meatfare song I wrote a few years back, to the tune of the peerlessly schmaltzy 1970s ballad, “Seasons In The Sun” (click the link to get the tune, if you are too young to remember it):

Goodbye bacon, my trusted friend
I’ve loved having you in my kitchen
Together we’ve drawn out your grease
To season my black-eyed peas.
You’re so good with eggs and cheese.

Goodbye pork ribs, it’s hard to die
To yourself; I’ll really miss pot pie
And steaks seared on the grill.
Chicken tacos? Steel the will!
Mortify that fleshly thrill!

(Chorus)
We had joy, we had fun
We had pulled pork on a bun.
But the meat on which we dine
For two long months we must pine.

Father Joseph, pray for me
I want lamb chops almost constantly.
Though I know it’s very wrong
I’ll inhale a grilled foot-long
When I quit this stupid song.

Vladyka, dear, it’s hard to fast
Fried tofu is pretty poor ballast
And I’m real sick of eating beans.
Emitting aromas most unclean,
The kids call me Stinky Jeans.

(Chorus)
We had joy, we had fun
We had pulled pork on a bun.
But we are called to be ascetic:
At this holy task I’m most pathetic.

Goodbye kebab and tandoori.
Meat lasagna — arrivider-er-ci!
Beef tamales — adios.
No more gravlax upon toast
By order of the Holy Ghost.

(Chorus)
We had joy, we had fun
We had pulled pork on a bun.
Protein’s in an eight-week rut:
Endless butter from the nut.

(Chorus)
We had joy, we had fun
We had pulled pork on a bun.
For this devoted carnivore
Vegan life is a crashing bore.

(Chorus)
We had joy, we had fun
We had pulled pork on a bun.
Heathens, grill for me by proxy.
I’m sold out to Orthodoxy.

Really, I should be punished severely for that last couplet.