“Did you hear about the hurricane and blizzard that’s going to hit the Northeastern US?!” I said to our Dutch friends.

“What?” they said.

“Oh, that’s my Weather Boy,” said Julie, wearily. “He loves to freak out about weather. You should have seen him during the hurricane we had this year in Louisiana.”

OK, true, but come on, this is a Frankenstorm! All of you will first be frozen solid, then blown or washed out to sea! Please tell me how you are spending your last hours on this Earth.