How many biodegradable plastic bags can dance on the head of a pin? Why, let’s ask the Holy Synod of the Park Slope Co-Op, which met in an intense conclave last night. A reader sends this live-tweeted account of the interminable meeting. It is horrible. It is hilarious. You must read it at once.

Honestly, I would rather survive on genetically-modified Cheetos and Mountain Dew purchased at the 7-Eleven than have to buy food from these people.