I, for one, am shocked by the news:

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are calling it quits after five years of marriage.

Holmes’ attorney Jonathan Wolfe said Friday that the couple is divorcing, but called it a private matter for the family.

How could this have happened? Golly, he jumped on Oprah’s couch and everything! If that’s not true love, what is? O tempora, O mores…

OK, I snark. But the thing is, there is a child involved in these games these Hollywood stars play with each other, and their public images. Child, or children.