The former chief film critic for The New York Times is worried. Really worried:

The “Little Women” problem with men is very real. I don’t say that lightly and am very alarmed.
In the past day have been told by 3 male friends who usually trust me that they either refuse to see it or probably won’t have time. Despite my saying it’s tied for #1 of 2019.

— Janet Maslin (@JanetMaslin) December 21, 2019

I don’t get this at all. At all. I have no plans to see Little Women either, not because I think it’s a bad movie, but because I only go to the movie theater to see movies I judge that I will probably like. Isn’t that what most people do?

Maslin is a professional film critic, and as such, she has cultivated within herself an ability to appreciate many kinds of movies. I was a professional film critic for a few years, and had to watch all kinds of movies. I saw, and learned to like, movies that I would not normally have seen. But I also learned, after I quit reviewing professionally, that my reviews weren’t as reliable for average readers as I would have thought. I would give three (out of four) stars to movies that I found to be solid and enjoyable, if nothing very special. That was my critical judgment. What I didn’t realize until I was no longer a critic is that ordinary people read movie reviews more from a consumer point of view. Is this movie worth paying $10 to see? Is it worth giving over two or three hours of my day to see? Is it worth paying a babysitter to watch the kids while my spouse and I go watch it?

I had been watching movies for free — not only for free, but being paid to watch them — that I had lost touch with why and how most people watch movies. I changed beats around the time our first child was born, and suddenly, everything changed. We had more expenses, babysitters were not easy to find, and so forth. I realized that most of the movies I had given three stars to were not movies that I would even think about going to see in my new situation. The cost — not only the money, but the difficulty of solving the babysitter problem as a young couple in Brooklyn — was significant, in a way it wasn’t before. To be honest, I don’t know how I could have written my film reviews differently, and I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect a critic to think and write like a consumer guide. Still, being a moviegoing normie made me aware too of how out of touch professional critics are. I don’t say that to put down critics, but only to illuminate a dimension of filmgoing that critics forget about. I know I did.

There are categories of movies that I won’t go see. Superhero movies, for example. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed the Iron Man movies … when I saw them at home, on Netflix. They were a lot of fun, but I don’t regret not having gone to see them in the theater. I have seen a couple of superhero movies, but only because I was doing something nice for the kids. The whole genre bores me. My children’s mother loves them, though. Great! I don’t have to take them now.

I also won’t see horror movies. Always have hated them. I don’t care how critically praised a horror movie is, I’m not going to see it. I know I won’t like it. So what?

My wife also deeply loves British costume dramas, especially anything having to do with 18th and 19th century England. Her favorite author is Jane Austen. Generally I don’t care for movies like that, or novels like that, though of course I recognize that Jane Austen is one of the all time greats.

On the other hand, I really go for dark dramas with political or philosophical themes. I really loved the two most recent movies by the Russian director Andrey Zvyagintsev: Leviathan and Loveless. I could not have paid her to watch them with me. So what? I enjoy Terrence Malick movies, which strike my wife (and most people I know) as like watching paint dry. Chacun à son gout.

Sometimes our tastes coincide. We are both fond of Merchant Ivory films (despite what I said about my resistance to costume dramas). A couple of nights ago, we watched Howards End, which we had both loved when it first came out. It really holds up — such a rich, gorgeous, moving film. Sometimes I resist her suggestions, and come to realize later that she was right. Julie was into Downton Abbey when it first came out on PBS, but I wouldn’t even try it (costume drama allergy!). One day, I was on the elliptical trainer, and looking for something to watch on Netflix. The first season of Downton was available. OK, why not? Well, I was hooked.

Similarly, I loved the very, very dark HBO miniseries Chernobyl. This is not the kind of series she would normally go for, but she tried it after me, and really liked it. So, it happens. Neither one of us like sports that much, so we didn’t give a thought to the critically-acclaimed NBC series Friday Night Lights when it was on TV. Then, when we were living in Philadelphia, it was available on Netflix, so we decided to give it a shot. It quickly became our favorite show, ever, because it’s not really about football, but about life in a small Texas town. I’m from a small town, and my wife is from Dallas. If not for Netflix, we never would have given the show a chance.

It really is true that people these days tend to play it safe musically, cinematically, and otherwise. And that can be regrettable. But honestly, I cannot imagine being “very alarmed” that people I knew would decide that they weren’t going to see a particular movie, because the genre or subject matter doesn’t interest them. As I said, I don’t much care for sports, but I went eagerly to see Ford v. Ferrari, because I was interested in the actors in it, and because my older son, who cares a lot about cars, had shared with me the real-life back story that the film dramatizes. I knew it would be a movie about masculine pride and competitiveness driving (so to speak) men to greatness. That’s something I am interested in — and I was right. Such an enjoyable movie. But it was a movie that I had to enjoy with my boys, because Mom and Sister figured they had better things to do than watch dudes drive around a race track for a couple of hours.

This did not alarm me. It did not even very alarm me.

There is a certain kind of liberal who gets anxious when people won’t like movies they’re supposed to like, or when people fail to get mad about things like the relative lack of female film directors. These are the same kind of people who go to pieces when people — a world-famous Romanian theatrical director — say they would not cast a transgendered Juliet because it would not be believable.Because it wouldn’t, and all the politically correct shade the woke can throw at you can’t make you believe it.

I, too, sometimes find it frustrating when people I care about don’t love the same things I love. This has happened to me a fair bit over the years, because I have eclectic tastes. It’s often disappointing, because it’s always a pleasure to share your joy in something with others, and it can be frustrating when you are pretty confident that your friend or loved one would love the thing you’re recommending, if only they would open their minds enough to try it. But it is not alarming, and I struggle to understand why anyone would be so anxious and aggrieved by men not wanting to go see a movie about sisters growing up in 19th century America. This review from The Guardian makes it sound really good. Though I’m not interested in the setting, nor do stories like this usually capture my interest, I’m sure I’ll watch it when it’s streaming on Amazon. Meanwhile, I’m looking forward to going with my sons to see Adam Sandler in Uncut Gems this holiday season. Maybe we’ll catch a ride to the theater with Julie and Nora, on their way to see Little Women. Celebrate diversity!