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Howdy, Aren’t We Lucky to Have Ya, Dan

Dan Crenshaw is the greatest Texan since Sam Houston—or maybe ever!
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A few years back, during a Turning Point USA Trump rally in Florida, I watched as Rep. Dan Crenshaw waved his red impeachment “no” vote card to a crowd of thousands while President Trump beamed and embraced him. I knew at that moment, seeing him wrapped in Trump’s adoring arms, I was looking at one of the great statesmen of our time. 

It was a typical performance from an extraordinary man. In today’s GOP, Crenshaw is a star—a Fox News darling who represents the party’s future. Good looking, well-spoken, and a war hero, he checks all the right boxes. There are very few congressmen with his talent and television appeal. In fact, he is the right’s AOC, the great conservative hope. 

Moreover, Crenshaw is totally unlike other politicians. Before he is a congressman, he is an intellectual. His speeches aren’t just mere stumps; they’re veritable symposiums. During that same rally, he pulled an enormous powerpoint up to educate the crowd. It read “CONSERVATISM = CLASSICAL LIBERALISM.” We were enlightened. We had never encountered a politician with such a grasp of intellectual history. His disquisition marched on for an hour longer. Inspiring. 

His Harvard-educated genius doesn’t stop there. He has since explained that tariffs are part of what he calls “the loser mentality.” He has stood firm for red-flag laws, unmoved by plebes who wonder about constitutionality. In defending mass immigration, he displays unflinching moral superiority to the xenophobic masses. He is a leader on conservative environmental solutions, endorsing the green GOP American Conservation Coalition and the Texas Oil & Gas Association in the same year. His clear-eyed foreign policy vision boldly stands against defeatism and proclaims “endless wars” to be a fallacy. In fact, he reminded us that critics of the war are to blame for the fall of Kabul—not the heroic Afghan Army. Most recently, he bravely belittled voters concerned by the possibility of election fraud, telling them “you’re kidding yourselves” and insisting “I’m not wrong” when faced with blowback from the uneducated crowd.

I don’t have enough room to fully endorse U.S. Representative Daniel Reed Crenshaw’s principled conservative brilliance. I can only suggest buying his magnum opus, Fortitude. It is even endorsed by the other great leader of our time, Condoleezza “Condi” Rice. 

In short, we should feel blessed that the foretold Republican Messiah is here. After three decades of searching, we have finally found our next Ronald Reagan. Actually, that’s an understatement. Surely, Dan Crenshaw is a much greater leader than Ronald Reagan—at least, according to Dan Crenshaw. And he should know; he’s never been wrong before. 

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