Things We Learned Tonight In St. Paul
1) Mitt Romney thinks a Supreme Court dominated by seven of nine Republican-appointed justices is liberal. Well, maybe it is in many ways, but it isn’t entirely clear why we should want to put McCain in charge of adding to the long record of dubious Republican appointments.
2) Mitt Romney’s speech was a warmed-over version of his stump speech, which continues to be as lifeless and uninteresting as it always was. Andrew notes that it “was random and moronic,” which is to say that it was textbook Romney.
3) Mike Huckabee thinks that children of his generation had schooldesks because John McCain was bombing North Vietnam. Presumably the long dearth of major foreign conflict between 1975 and 1991 meant that we suffered from a dangerous desk shortage, perhaps even a Desk Gap with the Soviets. Indeed, how many times when I was a child growing up in the ’80s did I wish that there were larger defense outlays in order to make sure that each of us had a desk? Too many.
4) Huckabee thinks that soldiers provide freedom, which is one of the weirdest, most disturbing views out there. It is one that last appeared at a Republican convention in Zell Miller’s ’04 speech.
5) Huckabee used to be able to give an engaging, coherent speech, but now has apparently lost that ability. Perhaps he has lost the powers he received from Chuck Norris.
6) Obama brought back “European ideas” from his trip overseas, which must mean that there have never been any Americans who have argued for an expansive welfare state.
7) Giuliani is dead-set against cosmopolitans, which would have to be news to his former constituents.
8) These three must have been scheduled ahead of Sarah Palin to make her look as good as possible.