“Can I call you Joe?”  And so it begins.

Straight to the bailout.  Biden declares the policies of the last eight years to be the worst ever.  Wall Street running wild!  Biden goes into his recitation of Obama’s four principles of bailout.  Palin: fear at soccer games is the barometer of economic troubles.  Oversight and reform are needed–McCain offers reform.  No one wanted to listen to McCain, but he brought people together–that must be why the House rejected the bailout.  Palin: The American workforce is strong!  A team of mavericks has a track record of reform.  Obama is not bipartisan–so there.  Get ‘er done.  Americans want change, not more of the same. 

Who’s to blame?  Palin: Predator lenders!  Greed on Wall Street.  Borrowers have no responsibility.  Joe Sixpacks and Hockey Moms working together.  It has been ten minutes, and she hasn’t said anything yet.  Biden: Wall Street running wild!  Palin: Tax relief is needed.  Where did that come from?  She goes back to her old line about Obama and the 94 times he didn’t cut taxes.  She has entirely missed the point of her chance at rebuttal; Biden scores an easy point on McCain and deregulation.  Palin is harping on taxes.  Straight talk!  McCain is a super-regulator.

Biden says that the middle class should have tax cuts; Palin says that Biden is wrong–the middle class should have tax cuts.  Palin took on oil companies–not like that oil magnate-loving Obama.  She is randomly looking for ways to talk about Alaska.  She completely evaded the original question.  Nothing needs to be sacrificed because of the financial crisis.  Biden notes that Palin supported a windfall profits tax in Alaska, which is true, and adds that Obama wants to do the same thing.  Palin: corruption and greed on Wall Street, the mortgage lenders reared their head–just like Putin, I’m sure–and McCain fought them with reform.  There’s a toxic mess. 

Palin’s record on energy returns yet again.  She has nothing else to talk about.  What does this have to do with bankruptcy regulations?  She mentioned both energy independence and hungry markets–drink!  She was focused on “climate change impacts” with her sub-cabinet.  “Drill, baby, drill is the chant.”  Palin agrees to capping carbon emissions–way to stay on message.  Biden tries to save himself on his bungled clean coal statement. 

Biden “absolutely, positively” supports giving benefits to homosexual couples.  The response should be interesting.  Palin is not interested in redefining marriage.  But she’s very tolerant–she has a diverse group of friends!  Good grief.  She’s being as straight up as she can be.  Biden does not support gay marriage, but commends Palin on her support for civil benefits.  Everyone agrees!

Palin lauds the “surge” and Petraeus.  Here we go.  Biden points out that Palin offered no plan.  No end in sight for the war for McCain.  Palin: white flag of surrender!  The “surge” worked!  Palin respects Biden so much that she can’t believe that he works with Obama.  Biden: God love him, but McCain is dead wrong.  Biden is focused on Pakistan. 

Palin: Petraeus and Al Qaeda agree that Iraq is the central front.  Don’t they cancel each other out?  Iran cannot be allowed to have nukes, full stop.  Ahmadinejad is crazy!  Obama is a dangerous talker.  Kissinger returns to the scene.  Palin: they hate us for our freedom.  Yawn.  Biden: McCain’s Zapatero gaffe is unbelievable.

Palin: Two-state solution is the solution.  No second Holocaust–that’s reassuring, I suppose.  Put the embassy in Jerusalem–that’ll be the day.  Biden: The policy of the administration has been an abject failure.  Not much you can say against that.  Palin: Everyone loves Israel.  Yay!  Don’t worry about the past.  Cliches abound–McCain has been a maverick.  I think I’ve heard that before. 

Biden sounds incredulous.  You can tell that he can’t believe he has to be in this debate.  Palin is for nonproliferation.  That’s nice.  “Surge” principles in Afghanistan.  Palin has no clue what’s going on in Afghanistan.  She doesn’t know that there hasn’t been a heavy reliance on airstrikes that have killed many civilians.  Biden cites a general in Afghanistan saying that a “surge” won’t work.  Palin says that’s not so.         

Biden: Americans have a stomach for success.  Intervention galore.  Biden lies about his vote for invading Iraq.  Here comes Darfur; Biden is back to his no-fly zone obsession.  Is anyone buying anything Palin says?  “We can agree about that also,” she says of Darfur.  She supported divestment from Sudan.  Palin is preoccupied with Biden’s war vote–who’s talking about the past now?  McCain will learn from his own blunders.  Biden: This election is super-important; I am like John Nance Garner.  Palin: A team of mavericks, ANWR–drink! 

Palin looks like she’s about to laugh as she rattles off her spiel.  Biden plays the “are you better off today?” card.  “There you go again,” Palin says.  Did she really say that?  She says that Biden’s wife’s reward is in heaven–is that in exchange for not getting paid very well?

Alex Massie speaks for all of us: “I too want extra credit for watching this.”    

Palin: people aren’t looking for more of the same.  Does she know which side she’s on?  Biden: McCain’s not a real maverick!  As they start to wrap up, I will admit that Palin has avoided disaster.  Biden has put in a pretty successful performance.  My guess is that Biden will come off as the clear winner in the eyes of viewers, but it will not be as lopsided as her critics expected.