Just when you thought you’d heard it all, along comes something like this:

i combat the flame-orcs of vice! i ambush the sulfur-dragons of despair! the shackles of pessimism are useless against me! the hydra of defeatism fail to paralyze me! glory will be mine, flow-gush will be supped and the sparklo-dolphins will be seen! ~Kyle Foley, Comet-Flash

Hat tip to Rachel McAdams (and Michael Brendan Dougherty).