A reader sent a link to a story from the New York Post, about wealthy cougars who get plastic surgery to prepare for the Coachella festival. The reader added this remark from historian Lewis Mumford’s book The City In History:

“These are symptoms of the end: magnifications of demoralized power, minifications of life. When these signs multiply, Necropolis is near, though not a stone has yet crumbled. For the barbarian has already captured the city from within. Come, hangman! Come, Vulture!”

What’s he talking about? From the NYPost story:

Sarah Mirmelli is ready to face the music.

Before heading to the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival in Indio, Calif., this weekend, the 33-year-old divorced mother of two blew $20,000 in preparation. Her clothing alone for the weekend — a “sick” outfit featuring a vintage Guns N’ Roses T-shirt, YSL army jacket, denim cutoffs, corset, thigh-high leather boots — was $8,000. She spent thousands more on Botox, lip injections, boxing classes and a personal trainer who helped her drop 10 pounds in advance of the three-day-long concert in the California desert. In the month leading up to it, she even gave up alcohol and went vegan to get in shape for the debauchery to come.

“Everything’s about Coachella,” says Mirmelli, who started going to the desert festival after needing to cut loose following her divorce six years ago. This year is her fifth time attending.

Getting in shape for the debauchery to come. Isn’t that so 21st century WEIRD? More:

New York doctors who specialize in Fountain-of-Youth procedures say they’ve noticed an uptick in ladies looking for nips, tucks and tightenings before heading to Coachella.

“About two months ago, when Guns N’ Roses mentioned they would [play], more women in their 40s started coming in,” says Dr. Norman Rowe, an Upper East Side plastic surgeon whose main focus is fat-reduction procedures. “They’re reliving their teen years.”

Read the whole thing. Hey ladies, guess what? You’re going to die one day. All the plastic surgery you can buy, and all the pretending that you’re forever young, is not going to save you.

In any case, future Gibbons should print this out for their files.

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