That’s a fellow client of our local veterinary clinic Saturday morning. His pet Chinese goose had a fishhook in its foot. I had to go to take my dog, who was suffering from a severe case of a thing I can’t talk about without dry heaving. Seriously, I have an extremely weak stomach, and just thinking about this particular doggie condition literally makes me start gagging. It’s pathetic. They gave Roscoe treatment and an antibiotic, but refused to give me a sedative.

God bless country veterinarians, is what I’m saying. If it were up to me, I’d have had Roscoe put down before dealing with his posterior affliction. I know a guy, a big country dude hunter, who passes out at the sight of human blood. I’ve seen him covered in deer blood, butchering a buck, with no problem. I also saw him once nick his finger while shucking an oyster, and subsequently puke and faint dead away. A friend of my dad’s is a farmer who castrates his own cattle, but who can’t bear the sight of his own blood without fainting. People are funny that way.

UPDATE: Apparently some readers really do think I would have my dog euthanized before dealing with his affliction. No. Not remotely. I’m being facetious.