Can you bear one more post from me about the death of Archie Andrews at the hands of a gay-bashing gun nut? Good, because you’re going to get one.

That clip above is a pitch-perfect scene from the 1988 classic black comedy Heathers. In the film, Christian Slater played a new kid in town who secretly murders bullies — the queen bees and the jocks — and makes it look like suicide. He stages the killing of the jerk football players to look like a gay suicide pact; they become martyrs to homophobia. Later, the entire school becomes obsessed with an anti-suicide campaign, with the lame slogan, “Teen Suicide: Don’t Do It!”

The humor is acidly ironic. They’re not making fun of bullying, or of teen suicide. Among the things the film does mock is kitsch — that is, cheap mass sentimentality. The novelist Milan Kundera defined it like this:

Kitsch is the absolute denial of shit, in both the literal and the figurative senses of the word; kitsch excludes everything from its purview which is essentially unacceptable in human existence.

Kitsch causes two tears to flow in quick succession. The first tear says: How nice to see children running on the grass! The second tear says: How nice to be moved, together with all mankind, by children running on the grass!

It is the second tear that makes kitsch kitsch. The brotherhood of man on earth will be possible only on a basis of kitsch.

The end of homophobia (or racism, or anything else) will be possible only on a basis of kitsch.

In the scene above, it is the histrionic father turning to the congregation and saying, “Ah luv my dead gay son” that makes kitsch kitsch.

About the Archie-as-martyr-to-homophobia thing, look at this passage from an statement by Archie Comics publisher Jon Goldwater (quoted in Rolling Stone):

“We wanted to do something that was impactful that would really resonate with the world and bring home just how important Archie is to everyone. That’s how we came up with the storyline of saving Kevin. He could have saved Betty. He could have saved Veronica. We get that, but metaphorically, by saving Kevin, a new Riverdale is born.”

More:

“The way in which Archie dies is everything that you would expect of Archie. He dies heroically. He dies selflessly. He dies in the manner that epitomizes not only the best of Riverdale, but the best of all of us. It’s what Archie has come to represent over the past almost 75 years.”

It’s “a new Riverdale is born” and “the best of Riverdale, but the best of all of us” that makes Archie’s death kitsch.

Finally, Kundera described “totalitarian kitsch” as a condition in which it is not possible to dissent because “all answers are given in advance and preclude any questions.” This is the kind of kitsch that makes life within some religious and political circles so stale and oppressive. Given the peerless manner in which gay men subvert dominant narratives through irony, it would be quite an irony if we weren’t allowed to make fun of any expression of a pro-gay message as kitschy. Would we not be in the realm of totalitarian gay kitsch?

Put another way: if we don’t love our Dead Gay-Ally Archie, does that make us enemies of the people?

UPDATE: Yes, I’m fully aware that citing Milan Kundera in a discussion of a cartoon character’s untimely demise is totally a poseur move. Here’s what I say to you.