Home/Rod Dreher/The Twitchy Stump

The Twitchy Stump

The Machine, grinding up our generativity, and our humanity (Source)

Read this thread from a man who had sex-change surgery in an attempt to become female, but who is now detransitioning. If you check it out on Twitter now, there are two posts missing; he says he didn’t delete it, but Twitter did because so many pro-trans people complained that this is “transphobic”. Someone archived the whole thing before Twitter’s censors got to work; this link includes what was missing. I’m going to post photos of the entire thread — including the restored censored parts — just in case someone else tries to take it down. I’ve drawn from both the archived version and shots I took just now from the live thread; this accounts for the different time stamps. What you see below is the content as it first appeared on Twitter::


Here is a link to the existing Twitter thread, with a couple of posts removed.

Here is a link to one of the posts on TullipR’s Substack about life as a detransitioner. Excerpts:

To catch you up, I began medical transition at age 26 and had penile inversion with a scrotal graft at 30. If you’re wondering what that is and only if you have the stomach for it (You have been warned!), go here to see for yourself what the ‘procedure’ looks like.

If you want to see the potential outcomes, horrors, and disasters, as well as the butchers that do this, head over to this thread on kiwi farms. I cannot possibly stress enough that these links are not for the faint of heart.

I share this only because this thread has saved some of my detrans friends from doing this. Not all. Some of us have to live with this shit forever. We were too unwell and socially inept to understand what it meant when we went through it.

Detrans people who have been on HRT for only a few months may get off lucky. Some people can get rapid development in a short time frame depending on age and sensitivity to hormone treatment, but many will effectively return to normal. Then you have those who were cut; had their breasts, testicles, genitals inverted, changed, mutilated, amputated, lobotomized – whatever term you feel fits – but the impact is the same. It’s gone forever.

For detrans women who have had mastectomies, there is a promising field of breast reconstruction thanks to the developments in care for breast cancer patients (if you can get funding, that is…). Unfortunately, if they’ve had a hysterectomy, like detrans men who had their testicles removed, they will be reliant on HRT for the rest of their lives.

Gonads play an important part in our endocrine system, responsible for more than just reproduction, which is something I didn’t learn until I detransitioned. In nearly a decade of medical care, not one medical professional made this clear.

He goes on:

I feel panicked at the thought of being a hairy dude with a front hole. It’s a devastating thought, and no disrespect to other detrans men who have found solace in taking testosterone but it’s not just the physical aspects that scare me, it’s the psychological ones too.

Like my transition itself, my inverted penis is a caricature of a female body part that despite being dressed up to appear female, is unmistakably male. During surgery, they retain the Kepler gland, which produces seminal fluid. You can produce quite a lot, but only once you climax. Women produce fluid leading up to, during, and after – and the difference is unmistakable, which is why I struggle to call it a vagina. It’s not. It’s a lobotomised penis.

Read all of TullipR’s Substack posts here.

A twitchy stump. A lobotimized penis. A hairy dude with a front hole.

This is what we are doing to people — especially to our children! Permissive parents are allowing this. The medical profession celebrates this, as do the media, universities, Democratic politicians, and of course, Woke Capitalism. I used to wonder how in the world all the right-thinking educated people of the early 20th century embraced eugenics. Now I know.

Yesterday I was in Cambridge, giving a couple of talks to people at the university, and meeting others for conversation. It was an amazing day. I learned the extent to which wokeness and soft totalitarianism have captured this, one of the world’s great universities, and I also met some people who, with tremendous courage, are taking and have taken risks to resist it. These are the Live Not By Lies dissidents — always few in number, always unspeakably admirable. I can do what I do to tell the truth because I am fortunate enough to write for an independent magazine, and not to have an income dependent on not angering the woke. These people — some of them students, which is to say, young people at the most vulnerable time of their adult lives — do not.

I’m thinking this morning about a young woman I’ll call Jane. She might be fine with me using her real name, but I’ll exercise caution. Her name is Charlie Bentley-Astor, and she has given me permission to use her name.

Jane Charlie is in her early 20s. She grew up in a working-class family. Both parents and grandparents were atheists. She came to hear me talk about Live Not By Lies, in a speech sponsored by a Christian organization at Cambridge, the Trinity Forum (which is also at Oxford and Edinburgh, as well as in the US), because she has recently converted to Christianity become open to the idea of converting to Christianity (she told me later, in a correction). She said that she used to think she was an atheist, but she came to believe that nobody is truly an atheist — that everybody worships something. “And what I worshiped was Science,” she said.

Anyway, she told me and others in the group that as a teenager, she had fallen deeply into the woke cult, and was starting to succumb to the trans part of it at around age 17. She said she was following the script of uglifying her body, and had begun to wear a breast binder. She was suicidal and deeply depressed; all of these things she was doing to be her “authentic self,” as the propaganda stated, were only alienating her more profoundly from her body and her soul.

She had dreamed of being an artist from childhood, and had some early success (I looked this up online to confirm it; she was telling the truth); she must be quite talented. She said joining the artistic communities in the UK means having to embrace and affirm all things woke. The details she shared were stunning. It really is a cult. There was an older professional artist in the room listening to this, and she, though only having met Jane a few minutes earlier, confirmed everything she was saying about how utterly hostile the artistic world in the UK is to any traditional standards of beauty, or any traditions at all.

Charlie said that one night, she was in her room, and somehow a Jordan Peterson lecture turned up on her social media feed. “I thought, oh ho ho, let’s have a look at what this Nazi has to say,” she said, explaining that Peterson is a total hate figure in those left-wing circles. She really did think he was some sort of fascist, and decided to hate-watch his lecture.

By the end, she said, she was astonished to discover that she agreed with everything JBP said. That began the process of her losing her woke religion. She quit wearing the breast binder. As Charlie was telling us about this yesterday, she said that it’s astonishing to her now to recognize how anti-feminine wokeness is. You have all these extremely woke women who have convinced themselves that men are evil, and that the only way to know freedom and authenticity is to refuse to partner with them or to make yourself attractive in any way to them, and of course to refuse to have children. And yet, to take hormones and have surgeries in an effort to become a man (as if that were possible) is the height of progressive achievement! It’s so bizarre.

Charlie, who, again, is only in her early twenties, said what a revelation it was to her to discover that she actually likes being a woman, actually wants to have a husband and children, actually wants to be alive, and can actually cope with life without antidepressants. She gives thanks to Jordan Peterson for being the one figure who spoke to her in the darkness, and led her to the light.

But she had her artistic dream shattered. Charlie talked about how she has been kicked out of every artistic association for refusing to go along with wokeness. Her silence equals violence. In one example, she said declining to affirm this or that thing got her reported to the authority in charge of the group. The offended students said nothing to her personally. She only learned that they had been offended when the adult in charge of the group called her in and warned her that she had made others feel unsafe. Typical wokesters: sneakily appealing to authority to make disagreement, or just a refusal to be coerced, into an issue of personal security.

Charlie will not be able to become the artist she wanted to be. That is clear now. That world is closed to her. But she has her freedom, and her integrity. She lives not by lies. Me, I could hardly believe that someone so young and vulnerable-seeming could be so brave and so self-assured. Listening to her tell her story, I thought that I am looking at the 2022 equivalent of Havel’s Greengrocer. Just to be around someone who is willing to suffer bravely for the truth, as Charlie has, is incredibly inspiring. If you meet her, you might not realize at first the kind of courage you are seeing, because she is so modest. But this woman is a lioness!

In fact, I have met a surprising number of people — young people — both at Oxford and Cambridge, who understand exactly what’s happening, and who are looking for ways to resist. They know that they are a minority, but their Christian faith, and their personal integrity, makes them conclude that they have no choice. Thank God they have older figures like the Cambridge philosopher of religion James Orr, who runs Trinity Forum at this university, to rely on for advice. I’m finding out that there is a quiet but effective network of older resisters operating in the UK. Later this morning, I will meet with some who are working above ground, and will report back.

So, I will leave you with hope. The atrocity story that TullipR tells is infuriating, especially when you realize that all the institutions in our culture have lined up to draw troubled people like him into this meat grinder, and to destroy anyone who dares to resist. But people like Jordan Peterson, who has been living not by lies since that day years ago at his university, when he refused to be coerced into using pseudo-pronouns, are inspiring resistance from others — and even, in Jane’s case, saving a young person’s life.

The fight is going to get more intense. Read the latest Substack newsletter from the invaluable Abigail Shrier. Excerpt:

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis earned uncommon rebuke from conservative pundits last week, when he indicated he might sic child protective services on parents who take their children to drag shows.

“I’m a very big fan of DeSantis and very not a fan of kids at drag shows,” writer Bethany Mandel wrote on Twitter. “But conservatives have to recognize the Pandora’s box we’re opening by involving CPS in judgment call parenting decisions. It’s not abuse.”

Mandel is right: Child Protective Services should not be sent after these families. Parents ought to be free to make all kinds of decisions regarding what ideas to expose their children to, how and when—especially with regard to matters that we typically consider private and deeply personal: Religion is one. Sexuality, another.

But here’s the hitch: as with so many of our institutions, CPS has already become thoroughly politicized and weaponized by the Left. Dozens and dozens of loving parents have told me over the last two years that CPS showed up at their homes or threatened their custody or even testified against them in court, all for the sin of failing to “affirm” their minor child’s newly-announced gender identity or vetoing the kid’s immediate medical transition.

In California, matters head from bad to worse: a new bill aspires to transform California into a “sanctuary state” for gender-swapping youth, making it possible for even a non-custodial parent who wishes to transition her child against her spouse’s (or ex-spouse’s) wishes, to run to California and proceed.

Here, then, is the question: If our ultimate goal is return to a normalcy in which government agencies and corporations treat all Americans fairly regardless of viewpoint, how are we to achieve this? First, acknowledge that they are already weaponized and the artillery points only in one direction: against the opponents of the Left. Acknowledge that an ever-increasing tyranny is ratcheted upon those who dare criticize the indefatigable encroachment of gender ideology. The playing field is about as level as San Francisco’s Filbert Street.


Read it all. This once again confirms my belief that Viktor Orban is one of the only major politicians in the West who understands what’s really happening, and how to fight it. The old paradigm, the one under which so many conservatives still live, is not enough to fight this David and Goliath battle.

Join the Rebel Alliance! You meet the best people, and it’s invigorating to be fighting for truth, beauty, and goodness.

Finally, I just had a conversation this morning, over coffee, with a young criminologist who is keen on studying civilizational decline. I’m going to interview him later about his latest paper (he’s about to be finished with it). Using statistical analysis, he talks about how the collapse of the normative family, and normative gender relations, means that we really are living through the fall of civilization right now. He explained this to me, but I’m going to save it all for the interview I’ll do with him when he completes his paper.

He has not read The Benedict Option, but when I told him the thesis, he said, “That’s exactly right” — meaning that the only reasonable thing to do now is to build arks within which to ride out the tempest.

The twitchy stump really is a sign of the times. I know many of you are tired of hearing me say it, but once again: Prepare.


about the author

Rod Dreher is a senior editor at The American Conservative. A veteran of three decades of magazine and newspaper journalism, he has also written three New York Times bestsellers—Live Not By Lies, The Benedict Option, and The Little Way of Ruthie Lemingas well as Crunchy Cons and How Dante Can Save Your Life. Dreher lives in Baton Rouge, La.

leave a comment

Latest Articles