Look at that, would you! I shot that in my local Whole Foods last night. How dare they claim that kale is being displaced by the lowly collard! You know what’s the new kale? Kale. And don’t you forget it.

Whole Foods is also now claiming that it’s possible to make greens tasty without bacon. More lies! This denigration of bacon is a sure sign that we are in the Late Roman Empire.