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Tea And (Sexual) Sympathy At Baylor

Take a look at this clip, which two sources independently tell me that Baylor University compelled incoming freshman to watch in August 2017. This is a cleaner version of what was first required in 2016, I am informed:

It’s about teaching the concept of sexual consent. It’s rather crude. I’m told that the university took down the page where it was promoted. One can imagine why they took the page down — but a source sent me an image archived on the Wayback Machine [1].

Discouraging, for sure. Sex, in this video, is nothing but a bodily function. What is Christian about it at all? Is this being shown in other Christian universities?

In related news, did you see that athletes at the Winter Olympics have been given a record number of condoms? [2] What a world…

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71 Comments To "Tea And (Sexual) Sympathy At Baylor"

#1 Comment By Q On February 17, 2018 @ 2:49 pm

Elijah, thanks for providing the Fundamentalist Islam etc. take on recent developments. Broadminded of you.

Namely, if women consent to the relaxation of sexual mores, they consent to the possibility of being assaulted.
Sorry about all the sexual scandals in your county. No doubt that sort of thing was nonexistent before The Feminine Mystique came along and beamed rays of feistiness into everyone’s gonads.

#2 Comment By JJ On February 17, 2018 @ 3:23 pm

How is a video – explaining to young men that behaviors they don’t consider rape are in fact, rape – a bad or crude video? Some men only define rape as a stranger attacking a woman violently. This tea analogy video explains that no, having sex with a woman while they are unconscious or extremely drunk is wrong and is also rape. Forcing a woman to have sex when she says no just because you have had sex with her previously is wrong. Etc. The concepts in this video are ones that a lot of men do not understand. I don’t understand why Dreher finds this video upsetting.

#3 Comment By First_Deacon On February 17, 2018 @ 3:34 pm

This sort of thing is probably going to be about as effective as the ‘just say no’ type of anti-drug campaigns were in my generation.

With the sex-obsessed culture we live in, coupled with the rampant consumerism, and the waning influence of all religious traditions, that’s a recipe for a lot of young men to feel entitled to being sexually active, however they achieve that. The notion of consent, and respecting it, is going to be pretty weak tea in the heat of the moment.

#4 Comment By PeterK On February 17, 2018 @ 4:22 pm

that was embarrassing

#5 Comment By Anne On February 17, 2018 @ 4:35 pm

Decades ago, I had to write a script for a video display that was part of an exhibition on human reproduction at a major US science museum, and I can only hope viewers found it as generally direct yet respectful as this one. Really, addressing the public, including the young public, in ways that both compel attention and get across a message when the subject is sex is hard. Really, really hard. That’s why most attempts are so bad. So for what it’s worth, I rate this an A- for script, A+ for voiceover, and C- for visuals. That primitive, cartooning-style animation just bugs me. Still, for what it is, it’s pretty good.

Now, I get it that you don’t think any student watching should be having sex, period. But of course, this is Baylor, where not acknowledging the rules of consent HAS been a scandal. All things considered, I’d defer to the school on the wisdom of stressing the need for consent over more admonitions against sex outside marriage. But whether they’ve decided to stress these rules alone or incorporate them in a larger message about sexual morality, I think the tool is useful.

#6 Comment By Robert Levine On February 17, 2018 @ 5:54 pm

Anon says:

What seems to be downplayed in reports about the rapes at Baylor is that five football players who have been convicted or arrested are African American. (Sam Ukwuachu, Tevin Elliott, Shamycheal Chatman, Tre’Von Armstead, and Shaw Oakman).

And your point is… what? That African American males rape women at a higher rate than other ethnic groups?

According to a NY Post article, “Former assistant coach Kendall Briles allegedly asked a high school recruit, ‘Do you like white women? Because we have a lot of them at Baylor and they love football players.’”

I’m beyond being surprised that college football recruits pre-professional football players by unethical means. This is definitely beyond the pale for a school that self-identifies as a Baptist institution, being both racist and sexually immoral by Biblical standards.

#7 Comment By Gina On February 17, 2018 @ 7:09 pm

Okay, so consent is the lowest common moral denominator our society can decide on regarding sex. That’s sad, but what is sadder is that we have to start there; so many people still cant grasp it, as #metoo, indicates.

I really don’t understand your issue with this video. The Summa Theologian it is not, but how on earth are we going to get there without first accepting that another’s body is not ours to use and abuse?

#8 Comment By Thaomas On February 17, 2018 @ 7:37 pm

I am at a loss to know what is wrong with the video?

#9 Comment By benedicto On February 18, 2018 @ 1:29 pm

There is part of me that finds a bitter irony in the fact that so many of those who would have us believe in absolute freedom of sexual expression are part of #MeToo. Once you preach that casual sexual expression is good, or at least legitimate, it’s awfully hard to put that cat back in the bag.

Do people seriously think there was no sexual harassment before the Sexual Revolution? I mean, come on, people. The boss chasing the secretary around the desk was a comic cliche long before the late 60s.

#10 Comment By Futureman On February 18, 2018 @ 9:34 pm

“leaving assault rates high and encouraging STDs does not seem a path to holiness.”

Thank God we now have the aforementioned video keep us from straying. Had it been created a few years ago, perhaps those convicted of assault would not have labored under the assumption that their transgressions were a form of almsgiving.

#11 Comment By Fran Macadam On February 19, 2018 @ 5:23 pm

There is nothing more counter cultural now than Christian ethics and morality.

So evident when most commenters miss Rod’s point.

It’s going to be almost impossible to put together any local group in most areas to carry out a Benedict Option in communal fashion. The number dedicated is fast shrinking as the faithful die off. As per Rod’s citing statistics, most are content to manage decline.

All this occurring, not imposed under a militantly atheist dictatorship, but in a democracy by popular choice.

#12 Comment By MH – Secular Misanthropist On February 20, 2018 @ 8:01 am

I don’t think the video was bad, but I doubt it will be effective. The video demonstrates the mindset that through education you can prevent people from acting in an antisocial manner. But it has been my experience that people know what they’re doing is wrong, but they do it anyway.

That’s why criminals often make the effort to conceal their actions. Harvey Weinstein paying hush money and employing private detectives.

#13 Comment By sara On February 20, 2018 @ 4:45 pm

“MichaelGC says: February 17, 2018 at 2:00 pm
Add to that the overall message that two people coupling can be as casual as acquaintances chatting over a spot of tea and it becomes a depressing reminder of where we are now.”

The overall message, since you missed it, is “don’t rape people”. I find it depressing that you find the message that “two people coupling can be casual” more depressing than “don’t rape people”.

#14 Comment By sara On February 20, 2018 @ 4:47 pm

@Elijah
“There is part of me that finds a bitter irony in the fact that so many of those who would have us believe in absolute freedom of sexual expression are part of #MeToo. Once you preach that casual sexual expression is good, or at least legitimate, it’s awfully hard to put that cat back in the bag.”

Perhaps you should watch the video again. You seem to have the exact sort of misunderstanding that the video seeks to address. The fact that someone likes to drink tea does not give anyone the right to force them to drink tea (#MeToo). Get it now?

#15 Comment By sara On February 20, 2018 @ 4:51 pm

I don’t understand your angst over this video. Why wouldn’t you be far more upset about the rape problems on campus and be concerned that Christian parents are not able to communicate to their Christian sons that they don’t have the right to rape people? Or perhaps even that it is morally wrong for them to do so? So their solution (or this part of it) is simplistic and empty of theology but at least they are addressing the problem or attempting to do so.

#16 Comment By Giuseppe Scalas On February 20, 2018 @ 6:54 pm

MH

it has been my experience that people know what they’re doing is wrong, but they do it anyway.

Yes they know.
But our culture, by commoditizing sex, is doing everything to muffle the innate voice of conscience in those matters. And the video in question, by equating “having sex” and “having a cup of tea” is actually cooperating with the dampening.

#17 Comment By Anon On February 21, 2018 @ 10:55 am

sara:

Why wouldn’t you be far more upset about the rape problems on campus and be concerned that Christian parents are not able to communicate to their Christian sons that they don’t have the right to rape people? Or perhaps even that it is morally wrong for them to do so?

At Baylor, many (all?) of the rapes were committed by football players who were most likely at Baylor only because of their ability to play football. There’s a high likelihood they were raised without fathers present in their houses or in their lives. Important details have been left out of the reporting of this story. Instead, the impression is given that privileged, white, Southern young men are raping their fellow female students when this appears to not be the case. It would be nice to know more details about what actually happened at Baylor.

#18 Comment By sara On February 21, 2018 @ 11:31 am

“Anon says: February 21, 2018 at 10:55 am
At Baylor, many (all?) of the rapes were committed by football players who were most likely at Baylor only because of their ability to play football.”

Not true. There were problems across the campus but the media focused primarily on the football players. There were problems in leadership and in administration whom I think you would expect to be Christian in a Christian college. Ignore the realities of the problem and you will never make any headway against it.

#19 Comment By DRK On February 21, 2018 @ 11:42 am

As usual with custody cases, the facts of the Cincinnati transgender teen custody case are considerably more nuanced than the narrative of “the gummint us coming to take away your baby and change her sex” so beloved by conservatives.

In ruling for the grandparents in the custody case of the transgender teen, the judge was no doubt influenced by the fact that the kid called a suicide hotline in 2016, saying that he felt suicidal because he’d come out as transgender to his parents and his father had told the teen that he should just kill himself. His parents took him out of a children’s hospital, where he’d been hospitalized for anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation, so he could go into “Christian therapy”, which evidently consisted of six hours of sitting in a room having Bible verses read at him. (So-called “conversion therapy” is illegal in Cincinnati, by the way, and may be the reason that CPS got involved with this in the first place). Both of these events were reported by the teen, who may be an unreliable narrator. What was witnessed by others was the incident where, in a family therapy session, the teen tried to read his parents a letter he’d written, and the mother stood up, pointed her finger at the teen, and screamed, “you’re a liar”; the teen started shaking and curled up in the fetal position. These are not the parents of the year, is what I’m saying.

Given that even the parents wished for the teen to continue residing with his grandparents (they only wanted custody for medical reasons, to make him re-enter Christian therapy), the judge made the right call. In a few months, this kid will be eighteen anyway. He’s an excellent student and is doing well with his grandparents, so the judge felt that their having custody would be the least disruptive to the teen.

[3]

Also worth noting that the judge in the case has serious reservations about this kid’s mental state. She has ordered that the child be evaluated by a psychiatrist not affiliated with the children’s hospital where he’s receiving treatment: she was troubled that 100% of the patients presenting for treatment at the transgender clinic at the children’s hospital have been judged appropriate subjects for hormonal therapy. She has asked for the legislature to create a framework for these kinds of cases precisely so that families don’t end up destroying themselves in court. Her ruling is interesting reading, she is clearly frustrated by the whole situation.

[4]

#20 Comment By Anon On February 21, 2018 @ 1:41 pm

sara:

Not true. There were problems across the campus but the media focused primarily on the football players. There were problems in leadership and in administration whom I think you would expect to be Christian in a Christian college. Ignore the realities of the problem and you will never make any headway against it.

In the articles I read about the rapes at Baylor, there was certainly significant focus on the guilt of the leadership of Baylor’s football program. Regarding Baylor students, have you heard of any students besides the football players who were involved in the actual rapes?

#21 Comment By Siarlys Jenkins On February 21, 2018 @ 6:06 pm

Namely, if women consent to the relaxation of sexual mores, they consent to the possibility of being assaulted.

Sexuality is more nuanced, and more complex, than that. Sexuality involves some primal biological imperatives, and nature, per se, does not care whether pregnancy results from rape or undying mutual affection. Did the last female mouse to bear a litter somewhere in my basement truly love the male of who’s harem she was a part? Did she consent?

Human beings of course have higher standards. We have more developed brains and minds, and a more developed sense of ourselves as unique individuals, with intrinsic worth that is much more than mere statistical service to our species. Some even believe we have souls.

Human cultures (we are a gregarious and social species, albeit made up of self-conscious individuals) have grappled with how to handle this since the dawn of history as homo sapiens sapiens. We’ve often gotten it terribly wrong. We’ve made some progress too.

Marriage was a way to try to define when it is OK for a man to touch a woman and vice versa. The lines drawn have never been consistently honored, but they provided a framework. Kings have seduced the wives of their courtiers, masters have raped their domestic servants (enslaves or not, whether of different complexions or not), and young post-pubescent males and females have experimented in spite of their elders warnings.

So, if we dispense with an existing set of sexual mores, then we either declare open season, or we develop a new set. The concept of “consent,” without reference to “a piece of paper from the city hall” is one such attempt to establish a new paradigm. It becomes a bit rough when people living in close proximity live by markedly different sets of paradigms.

So, if women consent to the relaxation of sexual mores, then there needs to be a clear agreement on what the new mores are. At the fringes, reasonable people may even differ on exactly where to draw the lines. I would have a hard time arguing that a woman who walks naked down the street in a crowded city has NO responsibility if she is sexually harassed. However, at present she is still subject to arrest for indecent exposure, so its not likely to happen often.