Look how excited this woman is by her colon polyps! Yay, polyps! You should have seen the ecstatic woman on the brochure about hemorrhoids. You’d think that hemorrhoids were the best thing that ever happened to you.

I picked that up at the gastroenterologist’s office today. I’ve spent a substantial amount of the past three days with my dad in the presence of doctors, trying to figure out if what’s ailing him is a severe bout of acid reflux, as it seems to be. The doctors are telling him now that because of reflux, he’s strongly advised not to smoke, drink, or eat spicy food.

Dang. They basically told him he’s got the dread disease known as Louisiana. May as well die, or move to California. Not sure which one is worse.

I kid! I kid! Stand down, Californians! Strange thing is, most people who suffer from Louisiana look as happy as Polyp Lady. Most of the time.