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The Sex Gods Of The Copybook Headings

British journalist Claudia Connell is all alone and lonely in middle age, and regrets the choices she made [1] when she was younger. Excerpts:

For me, the single girl lifestyle that I embraced and celebrated with so much enthusiasm in the Eighties and Nineties has lost much of its gloss, and is starting to look a little hollow.

I was part of the Sex And The City generation — successful, feisty women who made their own money, answered to no one and lived life to the full.

When it came to men, our attitude to them was the same as it was towards the latest must-have handbag: only the best would do, no compromises should be made, and even then it would be quickly tired of and cast aside.

More:

What none of us spent too long thinking about in our 20s and 30s was how our lifestyles would impact on us once we reached middle-age, when we didn’t want to go out and get sozzled on cocktails and had replaced our stilettos and skinny jeans with flat shoes and elasticated waists.

When I look around at all my single friends — and there are a lot of them — not one of them is truly happy being on her own. Suddenly, all those women we pitied for giving up their freedom for marriage and children are the ones feeling sorry for us. 

She goes on to say:

The brutal reality remains, however, that Carrie Bradshaw and Bridget Jones — our fictional, singleton poster girls — ended up living happily ever after. Even the writers behind those characters couldn’t accept that they’d be happy to stay single for ever — which does make me feel a little cheated.

Carrie and Bridget were lucky. The same can’t be said for the millions of women, like me, who were so inspired by them.

Read the whole thing. [2] Then read, “The Gods Of The Copybook Headings.” [3] All will be clear after that.

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45 Comments To "The Sex Gods Of The Copybook Headings"

#1 Comment By Matt in TX On November 5, 2012 @ 4:35 pm

Are there a roughly equal number of middle-aged single men out there? Are they fine with being single? Or are they just as likely to be lonely, but less likely to publicly complain about it?

I mean, if the problem is that there *are* men willing to marry these high-powered career women, but the women are just too picky, then what about those poor men who wanted to get married but got turned down because they weren’t perfect enough?

After a divorce, men are lonelier, on average, than women. And I can’t help but think of the popular conservative argument that marriage “tames” or “regulates” or “civilizes” men, by pairing them with women — the implication being that men “need” marriage more than women do.

#2 Comment By em On November 5, 2012 @ 4:38 pm

I think there is a certain kind of personality/heart that is never content and is full of regrets, whatever it is. When I look around at fellow wives and mothers of various ages in life, I find few happy either.

I wonder why we can’t just make our choices and then make the best of their consequences. Why must it always be that no, someone didn’t warn us, someone deceived us. Why must it even be that we condemn ourselves for the past. What a miserable diseased existence. We need not consent to that.

#3 Comment By jaybird On November 5, 2012 @ 4:44 pm

They can always become “Extreme Cougar Wives.”

[4]

#4 Comment By Uncle Vanya On November 5, 2012 @ 4:49 pm

Suddenly, all those women we pitied for giving up their freedom for marriage and children are the ones feeling sorry for us.

What Ms. Connell gave up back then were meaningful relationships, and though now finding a husband might be harder and children impossible, if she opens her eyes and uses those brains, which such women as she always insist they’re blessed with in abundance, she’ll see that she can find happiness and meaningful intimacy in own life now as it is. (Albeit forgoing the chance to whine once more “Poor me!” will mean she’ll have one less thing to complain of to her readers.)

Ms. Connell needs to lay aside whatever’s printed in those glossy-covered mags, and relearn what sages and saints everywhere and always have known: Love is where you find it, and, to paraphrase platonically, if you can’t be with the one you love, then love the one you’re with.

#5 Comment By Charles Cosimano On November 5, 2012 @ 4:50 pm

Well you have to understand that the women have not aged well and finding furniture that will no collapse under them is an issue as well as the longevity of the nearest mirror. So the middle aged men are looking for younger stock.

#6 Comment By stef On November 5, 2012 @ 4:53 pm

The writer is an idiot, and not because she’s unmarried. She’s an idiot for two reasons. First, she believes this nonsense about “alpha males,” most of whom would make highly undesirable husbands anyway. Second, because she’s a profligate spendthrift who is wasting her money on clothes, vacations, a too-big house, fripperies like expensive rugs. If she is worried about the future, she should be living on half her salary and banking the rest.

Or perhaps she should find some like-minded women and rent out two of those bedrooms, to form an intentional household. However, as she sounds selfish, that probably won’t happen.

Many women on all sides of my family are single for all sorts of reasons. Some live alone; some live with other family members. Most are in middle age or older. Most seem happy and satisfied with their lives, and they do NOT have money problems because they are highly prudent. They are involved in church, social activities, political causes; one cared for her extended family members until she passed.

This article also mistakenly puts forth the idea that married people are never frustrated, isolated, or lonely. Many are. Others are abused and (often) financially dependent on their abusers.

#7 Comment By Hunsdon On November 5, 2012 @ 5:00 pm

That poem never gets old, does it?

#8 Comment By GCR On November 5, 2012 @ 5:18 pm

Didn’t Carrie Bradshaw get married in the movie?
And Bridget Jones at least wound up with Mark Darcy (haven’t read the second book, so I don’t know if they got married).

#9 Comment By John E_o On November 5, 2012 @ 5:19 pm

Yeah, yeah, I’ve been to Paradise, but I’ve never been to Me.

You pays your money and you takes your chances.

#10 Comment By GCR On November 5, 2012 @ 5:19 pm

D’oh! Never mind.

#11 Comment By Connie On November 5, 2012 @ 5:30 pm

And many of her peers who married young are unhappy in their marriages, or are now divorced single parents, stressed & unhappy. Almost everyone, if honest, has regrets about paths not taken in their youth. The answer is not “young marriage for all” or “10 year marriage-like contracts with an optional renewal clause.” Some people are happy–or can be happy–in whatever situation they find themselves. Different strokes, etc.

The Mary Tyler Moore show, one of the original showcases of the single professional woman, did NOT end with Mary Richards coupled.

What a whiner.

#12 Comment By MH – Secular Misanthropist On November 5, 2012 @ 5:33 pm

As usual The Onion is news from the future:

[5]

#13 Comment By Polichinello On November 5, 2012 @ 5:37 pm

Are there a roughly equal number of middle-aged single men out there? Are they fine with being single? Or are they just as likely to be lonely, but less likely to publicly complain about it?

They’re just more likely to date women five to fifteen years younger. Why? Because they can. This is why Rod’s referring to the Kipling Poem.

On the first Feminian Sandstones we were promised the Fuller Life
(Which started by loving our neighbour and ended by loving his wife)
Till our women had no more children and the men lost reason and faith,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: “The Wages of Sin is Death.”

Here’s the full poem, btw:
[3]

#14 Comment By Pat On November 5, 2012 @ 5:59 pm

Amen, stef!

As someone who never either catted around or got married, I resent these ‘single women are doomed to a lonely old age’ articles. They always purport to be about promiscuous women who regret their evil ways, but the message is never really ‘you shouldn’t be promiscuous’; it’s ‘you should have married.’ And not every woman can get married, even when she follows every church teaching, so what’s the point trying to make those who didn’t feel bad about it?

In fact, if you think about the real old maids in your church, you’d probably agree that inviting them to thanksgiving dinner is a more appropriate response to their situation than telling them they should have settled thirty years ago.

#15 Comment By Turmarion On November 5, 2012 @ 6:16 pm

John_E, I think that’s the first time I’ve seen that song quoted in a blog discussion–wow, early 80’s flashbacks….

#16 Comment By Mike W On November 5, 2012 @ 7:03 pm

Gosh, choices have consequences.

#17 Comment By Andrea On November 5, 2012 @ 7:10 pm

People are single for a lot of reasons; some are unhappy, others are not. I don’t know that most women who are single are single because they emulated the likes of Carrie Bradshaw and Bridget Jones. I would have liked to marry and have kids and be financially better off but, for a lot of reasons, I’ve never had the opportunity. On the other hand, I had some friends who did marry who ended up with problematic spouses they later divorced or had children only to see the child die or suffer from a debilitating disease. I see happy families on Facebook and I see posts from high school classmates who are married and frustrated or divorced and frustrated. I suspect I will be far more unhappy if I dwell on what might have been or present my life as a cautionary lesson to those younger than myself. If I were this woman’s friend I’d advise her to seek counseling and something to do with herself.

#18 Comment By Dain On November 5, 2012 @ 7:41 pm

With the Kate Bolick piece last year (or was it early this year?) at The Atlantic, is this officially a trend in publications, this kind of regret journalism?

Could be a selection bias in effect here. The single careerists are the ones at the prestigious zines offering this kind of regret. Meanwhile the married and unhappy sit silently somewhere with a blog few others read.

#19 Comment By J On November 5, 2012 @ 7:46 pm

Uh, so what? Not everyone should spawn. Many who shouldn’t, do, and then multiple offspring are stuck with extincting themselves and the disorders they were bequeathed.

It’s not an easy call about this particular woman. She was unable/unwilling to make up her mind and dismissive about having children even in her mid-thirties and likewise with her sexual relationships, bothering more with accoutrements and activities in the immediate. That’s an ADHDish approach to life. And what woman with a desire to have a stable family ever took that book- which is about competitive and domination achieving aspects to dating, an activity in which most people consider a cooperative and egalitarian or complementarian outcome along with this funny thing “love”, success- seriously as long term life advice? The larger culture in Western Europe is about breeding down their insustainable/undesirable numbers and (thus) not having dysfunctional children if it can be avoided. And those who voluntarily desist from having children are merely seen as volunteers, desisting from a vague social duty that is currently suspended. Their reasons for so doing are not subject to scrutiny. So she wasn’t encouraged toward other choices.

Of course, the people who are obsessive about spawning are also commonly not the most functional, goodlooking, and competent members of society either. Often they know that to have a functional child they have to foist dysfunctional others on the public welfare. But without shame, many (still) do. Kipling’s halftruth is completed or bested by Phil Larkin’s This Be The Verse- Man hands on misery to man. It deepens like a coastal shelf….

#20 Comment By Tyro On November 5, 2012 @ 7:59 pm

Some people are more melancholy than others. That’s their way.

If you really want to make sure that by the time you’re middle aged that you’re married, the sure-fire way is to marry the first person who wants to marry you back in your 20s, and then stick with that person no matter how much of a mistake that turns out to be. Rinse, repeat if the person leaves you.

If that doesn’t sound like a good idea, it’s because it isn’t. But anything else is a crapshoot.

#21 Comment By MikeS On November 5, 2012 @ 8:39 pm

We’ve already read this story a few thousand times: A middle aged educated white writer-girl regrets all the bonking she did earlier in life, and now writes books and magazine articles about it. You’d think the market for this would be saturated by now.

#22 Comment By Anglican On November 5, 2012 @ 8:43 pm

Ha ha actions have consequences. I’m a 32 year old single guy and I won’t date anybody my own age, yuck, a lot of them even at that point are bitter selfish idiots like this woman. It is like shopping at the bakery thrift store for bags of mashed up day old cookies,two for $5. As I say vicarious atonement is for Jesus and when you meet one of these gals she tends to dump her anger at long gone lovers or whatever at you and lets you know you are a consolation prize,so I’ll take a pass on paying for others sins. I only date younger women in their twenties because I can and its a better potential deal.Well all is fair in love and war. The only reason I would get married is for having children, and over hill Sally is no good for that and so I don’t see her type, other than as sad objects of pity like bag ladies or the drunken wino covered in his own filth hollering incoherently in the Mc Donalds. Actions have consequences and she should get some cats and find happiness in that. Cats are fun. Yes the Gods of the Copy Book Headings is a masterpiece and oh so apt for our entire society, not just the sad carnage of Helen Gurley Brown’s aging disciples. Reality always wins, and ruthlessly rips absurd fantasies such as the sexual revolution and the having it all clap trap into tattered ribbons of regret and loneliness. In the end these women will be wards of the tender mercies of state and sitting ducks for the remorseless euthanasia regime that is coming to rule across the entire west as demographic winter sets in. What began in a heady exciting rush of tossing out the old order, will end with the sterile, remorseless disposal of the unloved,unwanted and un mourned in the crematorium, in yet another rejection of our societies Christian and Jewish past. And with that happy note, have a good night.

#23 Comment By JonF On November 5, 2012 @ 8:51 pm

Polincello: middle-aged men get away with dating much younger women if they are either blessed with good genes (and so look younger), or with a big bank account. Your average middle-class, middle-aged slob won’t find anyone more than a few years his junior who’s interested in him, unless she’s a total neurotic looking for Daddy to fix all her problems. In which case the guy would be advised to run as far and fast as he can from her.

#24 Comment By amk On November 5, 2012 @ 8:55 pm

But Rod, what about your great aunts Lois and Hilda? Did either of them ever marry? You speak very highly of them in your blog post “That Time in Paris”?

#25 Comment By Rod Dreher On November 5, 2012 @ 9:44 pm

But Rod, what about your great aunts Lois and Hilda? Did either of them ever marry? You speak very highly of them in your blog post “That Time in Paris”?

Hilda married, and her husband died. Lois never married. I don’t think everybody is meant to marry. I would rather have stayed single than married someone simply for companionship. My objection is to the idea that the point of life is to live for pleasure, and to assume life will always be about that — which seems to have been what happened to this woman, who now realizes only too late that she believed a destructive lie.

#26 Comment By Hector_St_Clare On November 5, 2012 @ 11:52 pm

JonF,

No, men marrying/dating much younger women is pretty common, though less accepted in modern America than it was in the past or in other cultures. The men aren’t always rich, either. I have a friend who married a security guard 14 years older than her, and my other friend’s mother married an auto worker 10 years older. And I have other friends who date / hook up with guys about 10 years older.

And of course, some men are actually looking for someone that they can ‘take care of’ and ‘fix all their problems’, so if they wind up with the insecure neurotics then that can work out.

It’s definitely more difficult for women who reach their mid 30s without finding a life partner or starting to have children, partly because of their own fertility issues and partly because it’s less common for women to date younger. Though occasionally that can work out too.

#27 Comment By Surly On November 6, 2012 @ 1:32 am

When I reached the “sell by” age of 25 I happily accepted the courtship and proposal of a man that I respected and enjoyed and grew to love. If I had not married him I would not have had the two amazing kids that I have, who I treasure and who are both exceptional human beings. Even though their father and I ended up mismatched emotionally, I do have to accept that there was some God-given reason we ended up together. We almost perfectly complemented each other and while we were opposites—I was physically perfectly healthy and he was a mess of ailments–I was a verbal ninja but only average in math–he was a mathematical ninja and yes, pretty amazing verbally. I was a terrible athlete–he was a naturally graceful dancer, golfer, runner. I was emotionally resilient; he was neurotic and depressed. I was collaborative; he was competitive.

Our kids magically got the best of both worlds. Both are resilient emotionally and athletic. Both are rapier-sharp verbally AND mathematically. Both are empathetic and emotionally intelligent. Both are driven and competitive.

The marriage didn’t survive his athletic decline and depression. But I would not trade that experience for anything. I cannot imagine the world without these kids. I grieved horribly when he died prematurely. I felt and still feel horrible guilt. What if we had known that his depression and anger were from heart failure and not from a midlife crisis or the anger of seeing his athletic career go up in flames? I could have done better if I had known, but none of us did.

I will never regret marrying at 25 out of a panic that nobody would want me later. I loved being married. I got to have a few years of happiness. I have two incredible kids. I got to learn at a fairly young age how horrible I can be if I don’t know the whole story and that has made me more accepting and less judgmental. And more grateful that it was me that survived, and that I got to see these kids grow up.

#28 Comment By Lord Karth On November 6, 2012 @ 5:02 am

If this woman thinks she’s got it rough now, just wait another 20 or 25 years; she’ll be in her 70s and no one will pay attention to her at all.

Or even know—or, for that matter, care—if she is even alive. I strongly suspect that she is the kind of woman who will die in a nice house, with all sorts of fine things, surrounded by them—and 100 % alone. I cannot imagine a worse fate.

May God keep such a fate far from all of us.

Your servant,

Lord Karth

#29 Comment By Tyro On November 6, 2012 @ 7:58 am

My objection is to the idea that the point of life is to live for pleasure, and to assume life will always be about that — which seems to have been what happened to this woman, who now realizes only too late that she believed a destructive lie.

Rod, when you have a generation of unhappy people who explain to their kids that they got married because “that’s just what you do” or “because I wanted to do the right thing”, and realize that their lives aren’t exactly enviable, you’re not creating a world of young people who are going to be predisposed in favor of marriage.

One should also note that the author describes following a very traditional set of courtship norms described in the book The Rules— so she was specifically using a traditionalist guidebook to her social interactions.

#30 Comment By VikingLS On November 6, 2012 @ 8:03 am

Why is it that anytime the topic of the lonely fortyish woman comes up someone feels the need to counterbalance it with the specter of the abusive spouse?

#31 Comment By MH – Secular Misanthropist On November 6, 2012 @ 9:17 am

I can’t imagine many men would agree to the turquoise wallpaper with parrots that I have in my hall, or the huge chandeliers in my bedroom.

Does she know that men only have one X chromosome and are more likely to be color blind or have muted color perception*? I keep telling my wife that I can’t tell the difference between half of the colors she sees. Paint the hall peach cloud or Montgomery white and I’ll be none the wiser. But she’ll ask my opinion and seems incredulous that two colors look identical to me.

Reading the article she sounds like someone who would have a hard time meeting the other person more than half way. This may sound odd, but the egocentric nature of humans means that when you think you are meeting the other person half way, you probably aren’t. So meeting the other person more than half way correct for this perceptual bias. Plus the book “The Rules” instructs women to play games which is not the basis of a healthy relationship.

* They don’t make garanimals for adults which I could really use.

#32 Comment By Someone Else On November 6, 2012 @ 9:19 am

These kinds of articles always bring out the most mean-spirited gloating in the comments.

#33 Comment By Jeff On November 6, 2012 @ 9:51 am

I always feel a mixture of sympathy and contempt for people like her when I read stories like this. I sympathize, because everybody has regrets about some of the choices they’ve made; many of which can’t be undone. And to find yourself alone and childless and unhappy about it at 46 is a big one for a woman.

But on the other hand, smart, educated, career women who find themselves in this situation have none but themselves to blame. There is an element of vanity and egotism in a person who eschews marriage and children for years because they entail some sacrifice of career advancement and/or freedom. It’s pretty clear that you can get married, have kids, and still have a career. Lots of women do it. I can’t help but suspect that people like her and the afore-mentioned Kate Bolick put all their chips down on their careers in some juvenile quest for status and attention, or to flatter themselves that they are Somebody Important, with their own wikipedia pages and 5 digits worth of Twitter followers. If that’s the case, these people deserve little but scorn. Sorry, but unless you’re Madame Curie, lady, your career ain’t that important (not that most men’s careers are that important, either).

The important question for me is how is it that we seem to be producing increasing numbers of these types of women, as evidenced by plummeting marriage rates and fewer and fewer educated women having children? I can think of a few reasons, but contra-Rod, I don’t think they have much to do with the Gods of the Market Place or whatever.

#34 Comment By Andrea On November 6, 2012 @ 10:03 am

Viking — because not every marriage is a happy marriage and every life choice can have a positive or a negative outcome. This woman might have married and been happy or married and been miserable. Who knows? Her only option at this point is to live the rest of the life as best she can and avoid wasting more energy on the might have beens. Single women may not be able to marry easily but she has other options — volunteering, writing, travel, perhaps fostering or adoption if she’s so inclined. While she’s living her life maybe she’ll stumble across someone she can marry.

I was rather surprised to hear a few years ago that a 70-something widowed former teacher I knew had recently married a man of similar age. She’s a delightful person brimming over with interests, most recently flying kites at kite festivals and tracking the migration of a certain kind of butterfly. People who are interested in their own lives are probably more interesting to others. And maybe she won’t find anyone but the hobbies and interests will make her happy with her own company and that’s OK too.

This sort of story is a good excuse for people to revel in the misery of others or point a finger and gloat and say “I told you so. Traditional marriage is the only way to go.” The Daily Mail in particular specializes in “she’s a bad mommy/bad teacher/dried up old hag who waited too long to marry or have children and now regrets it and needs to use technology to accomplish it” stories that result in comments like Anglican’s.

#35 Comment By Judith On November 6, 2012 @ 10:05 am

Wow. That article sure brought all the men out of the woodwork. What exactly are all you guys p*ssed off about? However one evaluates the author, she relates her story to specific choices, things. You guys just seem to have self fueling animus in your gas tanks.

#36 Comment By Polichinello On November 6, 2012 @ 10:53 am

Why is it that anytime the topic of the lonely fortyish woman comes up someone feels the need to counterbalance it with the specter of the abusive spouse?

Because it’s easier to deal with straw men.

#37 Comment By Polichinello On November 6, 2012 @ 10:59 am

Does she know that men only have one X chromosome and are more likely to be color blind or have muted color perception*?

That would require sticking around for a few weeks. Really, most men just don’t care too much about house decor. I gave my wife free reign over the house with one exception: the office. That’s mine. Otherwise, go to town.

#38 Comment By Polichinello On November 6, 2012 @ 11:12 am

And many of her peers who married young are unhappy in their marriages, or are now divorced single parents, stressed & unhappy. Almost everyone, if honest, has regrets about paths not taken in their youth. The answer is not “young marriage for all” or “10 year marriage-like contracts with an optional renewal clause.”

Except that’s not what she’s saying. Her married peers are happier than her, and they’re pitying her.

What exactly do you mean by “young marriage “? Like it or not, biology dictates that if you don’t have your kids by 30, the odds start going down, and they drop rapidly after 35. Can a women still have kids after 35, or even 40 or 45? Yes, it’s possible, but far less probable.

Men know and understand this, both in their heads and in their guts. So, they are attracted to younger women, especially if they want families. That means if a woman doesn’t get married before she hits the wall (around age 35), she’d better get an early start on her cat collection.

But, if you’d rather not confront this fact, then go ahead and keep sticking your head in the sand.

#39 Comment By Polichinello On November 6, 2012 @ 11:16 am

What exactly are all you guys p*ssed off about?

So not surprised that your name is “Judith”.

Here’s your answer, “Judith”. We’ve endured forty-some odd years of “We can do it all” bullshit from grudge-bearing feminists. We’ve been told time and again that the conventional family was some sort of partriarchal conspiracy to keep women down. In fact, it was just plain old biology, as dear, aging and pathetic Claudia is demonstrating.

Is it noble to gloat and say “I told you so.”? No, but it’s still fun.

#40 Comment By Jeff On November 6, 2012 @ 11:45 am

Wow. That article sure brought all the men out of the woodwork. What exactly are all you guys p*ssed off about? However one evaluates the author, she relates her story to specific choices, things. You guys just seem to have self fueling animus in your gas tanks.

There aren’t as many smart, attractive women around as we might like. When one wastes her reproductive prime being non-committall and self-indulgent, well, it’s an opportunity cost for us, and we can’t help but react with displeasure. It’s like if you spent all afternoon preparing a nice meal of Beef Wellington and twice baked potatoes, let everyone have a whiff and maybe a bite or two of it, but threw the whole thing in the trash without anyone getting an actual meal out of it, and then complained about being hungry two hours later.

#41 Comment By J On November 6, 2012 @ 12:13 pm

What exactly are all you guys p*ssed off about?

The rejections they all got from the Claudias out there. How they had to settle for, well, a lot less.

#42 Comment By Pat On November 6, 2012 @ 1:03 pm

These sorts of articles have been around for ages, yet they don’t succeed in scaring women into marriage. I’m old enough to remember a book that posited I had a better chance of being struck by lightning than of finding a man. And there was a similar rash of articles in Time magazine about 15 years ago; the prize was a letter from a reader irate that women were too selfish to marry.

I thought at the time that he would do better to make himself such a person that it would not be an act of altruism for somebody to marry him. But I probably should have instead been applauding his clear-sightedness. Most of us don’t realize that marrying us would require selfless altruism! 🙂

Though what do I know? Some of the bitterest, most unpleasant people I’ve known have been (apparently happily) married, while kind and delightful ones remain (apparently happily) single.

#43 Comment By Tyro On November 6, 2012 @ 1:53 pm

Maybe you all come from different social milieus than I do, but in my experience, urban, well educated women are going to college and grad school, getting their careers in motion, and getting married and having a couple of kids sometime in their 30s. And those people seem to be happier in their marriages than those of our parents’ generation who married “just because.” Sure, some people never marry, but plenty of people have always never married. You’re just picking on these specific examples to give yourselves and opportunity to gloat.

And besides, Claudia seems like she turned out to be a much more pleasant person than “Anglican.”

#44 Comment By VikingLS On November 6, 2012 @ 3:49 pm

Andrea

It seems more to me like what’s being presented as an alternative to middle age regret is loveless and/or abusive marriage. “Oh you don’t like being single and lonely? Would you rather be married to an abusive spouse?” Of course she doesn’t, but she probably knows married people that are happy in their marriages. (Which would be most of the married people I know.)

#45 Comment By stef On November 7, 2012 @ 8:12 pm

Wow, amazing how articles like this bring out the misogyny around here.

So when women are 70, “nobody pays attention to them?” Maybe not self-absorbed players who are a decade or two past their own expiration date. Otherwise, older women do often carve out good lives for themselves, and some even do find love in later years, believe it or not.

And Anglican, you may decide to look for some prime breeding stock, but someone who wants to marry only to have children would best just hire a surrogate, because that’s at least an up-front contractual relationship.

As far as hedonism goes, Rod, married people can be horrible hedonists – the recent housing bubble (with people using their homes as ATM machines to finance their every materialistic whim) proves that.