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Save capitalism, waterboard Kermit

I think I must have died and gone to Ayn Rand’s Playhouse: Eric Bolling of [Fox News Channel’s] Follow the Money set the stage on Friday when he hosted a 7-minute segment that argued that The Muppets film – featuring bad-guy oilman Tex Richman — promotes a left-wing agenda. “We’re teaching our kids class warfare. Where are we, Communist […]

I think I must have died and gone to Ayn Rand’s Playhouse:

Eric Bolling of [Fox News Channel’s] Follow the Money set the stage on Friday when he hosted a 7-minute segment that argued that The Muppets film – featuring bad-guy oilman Tex Richman — promotes a left-wing agenda.

“We’re teaching our kids class warfare. Where are we, Communist China?” Bolling said.

You’ve got to see the whole segment to believe it:

Note how Bolling says we ought to have a “Food Stamp Muppet” because “under Obama, food stamp usage has gone up 40 percent.”

Because since the final months of the Bush administration, we have been in the worst global economic downturn since the Great Depression, you crackhead! Honestly, is there any stupid thing these people won’t say?

Look, I love complaining about Hollywood liberalism as much as anybody, but these Fox News hysterics are saying that the Muppet movie is an example of “brainwashing.” Really? Brainwashing? Because the villain is a greedy corporate type? Gosh, where would anyone have gotten the idea that the super-rich can be villainous? I expect Fox will now turn its vigilance toward the you-think-it’s-Christian-but-it’s-really-Maoist “Veggie Tales,” in which the evil King Nebuchadnezzar is portrayed as the tyrannical boss of a chocolate factory. (Come to think of it, Bob the Tomato is suspiciously … red.) And think of how many children’s minds will be poisoned against the banking industry this Christmas when that pinko Frank Capra’s “It’s a Wonderful Life” slanders the great American financial industry with its snarling caricature of Mr. Potter? You watch: if Hollywood has its way, the brainwashed American sheeple will start thinking there’s something wrong with bankers.

If we’re going to have a culture war, can’t we on the Right at least fight intelligently? Windmills are not dragons.

UPDATE: Here is a short film review by actual communists (the Maoist International Movement) of the Schwarzenegger film “True Lies.” It’s a classic in ham-fisted ideological movie-watching:

Arnold Schwarzenneger’s long streak of movies with (accidentally) progressive themes ended with True Lies. He is no longer against the establishment. No longer are cops or the government the enemy. There aren’t even strong women shooting guns and saving humanity like in T2. This xenophobic film is action-packed to the point of being absurd, and very entertaining (especially if you like your sex mixed with lots of violence). The Arabs are the enemies–crazy terrorists from whom the world has to be saved. The U.S. government and it’s detachment of “omega sector: the last defense” agents are the good guys, out to save the world. The women are floozy puppets; the female lead can’t even shoot a gun in a movie where more people are killed than left alive.

After the revolution, this movie could serve as a useful commentary on the eroticization of violence in patriarchal society. In True Lies, violence breeds romance; a mushroom cloud is the backdrop of a passionate kiss. But under patriarchy, this movie is reactionary junk that encourages misogyny and white national chauvinism. Don’t get caught in this reactionary film without a revolutionary analysis to apply. Read MIM Theory 2/3 (the one on revolutionary feminism) cover to cover before you hit the theater. MIM can not guarantee your political sanity otherwise. (Of course, this film might convince some people that all sex is rape under capitalism. If that happens, all will not be lost.)

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