Dear Comet, Please Kill Us
“Man Forced to Apologize for Sexist Shirt After Successfully Landing Spacecraft on Comet” has to be the ultimate headline for our age.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) November 14, 2014
You tell it, Iowahawk. Sweet honey in the rock, what kind of head-up-the-butt idiots are we? The British scientist who helped land a freaking space probe on a comet was reduced to grovelly tears because he wore a dorky shirt featuring 1940s-style pin-ups. Excerpt:
The controversy follows the revelations from the scientist’s sister Maxine that he could be “useless” in everyday life. Portraying her tattooed sibling as absent-minded, unable to find his car in the car park, and sometimes lacking in common sense, she told the Evening Standard, he didn’t like making decisions.
Aspie. Guaranteed. The last person in the world you should expect to be aware of the ultradelicate sensibilities of progressives. Prostituting yourself as a porn star can be feminist and empowering. A nerdball British scientist who Landed. A. Spaceship. On. A. Comet. demonstrating harmlessly poor sartorial taste — well, to the stockade with you, matey.
Only in an age like ours could a man LAND A *%$#@& SPACESHIP ON A COMET, and people would complain about the hopelessly unhip shirt he wore when talking about it on TV. Only in an age like ours would a man who accomplished something like that feel compelled to weep on television in remorse to placate gripy feminists.
Any way the European Space Agency could redirect that comet towards our planet? Because we deserve it.