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Tale Of The Cannoli-Rooting Canonist

Two lavender mafiosi from the Archdiocese of Chicago were caught by police rooting for cannoli: [2]

According to Miami Beach Police, 39-year-old Diego Berrio and 30-year-old Edwin GiraldoCortez were in the front seat of a car performing oral sex.

Police got a 911 call about a lewd and lascivious incident taking place in the 1300 block of Ocean Drive.

When officers arrived, the police report states, the two were performing sex acts on each other “in full view of the public passing by on Ocean Drive and the sidewalk.”

It was 3:20 in the afternoon.

“Yesterday, we received a call indicating that two men were performing a sex act inside of a car. This is in broad daylight, 13th Street and Ocean Drive. There are no tints on the window,” explained Miami Beach Police spokesman Ernesto Rodriguez.

More anatomically correct detail from CBS Chicago: [3]

When the officer approached the car, he reports seeing Berrio sitting in the passenger side of the vehicle performing oral sex on Cortez, who was in the driver’s seat, according to the police report.

Cortez’s pants were unzipped and open and his genitalia was exposed, the report says.

Berrio and Cortez did not notice the police officer right away, and he had to knock on the window.

I don’t know why the Chicago media are reporting on this. Don’t they know that Cardinal Cupich of Chicago hath said [4] that climate change and immigration are more important issues facing the Church than the sexual corruption of its clergy?

One of these accused priests, Father Berrio, is a judge on the marriage tribunal of the Archdiocese of Chicago. [5] That’s right: this cannoli-rooting canonist sits in judgment over whether or not marriages were licit. The laity depend on his judgment to determine whether or not they can remarry in the Catholic Church.

Berrio (left) and Cortez

I know that some of you will be offended by my treating this disgusting news with black humor. But at this point…

UPDATE: Think about it: even if these priests repent, who could possibly look up to them as spiritual fathers after this? What kind of archbishop could entrust the care of souls to this kind of man?

UPDATE.2: Look at what one of these cretins did earlier this summer [6]

A group with a mission to evangelize young Hispanics in the United States now has 21 Chicago-area members who have consecrated their lives to Mary.

The young people, members of the youth group Iskali, consecrated their lives at an April 28 Mass celebrated by Auxiliary Bishop John Manz at Misión San Juan Diego in Arlington Heights.

“It is all about making a promise recognized by the church,” said Vicente del Real, leader of Iskali. “It is a promise that you will live according to the teachings and precepts of the church to dedicate your life to a specific mission.”

Father Diego Berrío, the canonical advisor and spiritual director of the consecrated group, told Chicago Católico that the consecration practice is not new.

“It was mainly an idea by St. Louis de Montfort, a French saint who had the vision of this consecration to Mary,” he said. “Simply, the purpose is, as a baptized faithful, to live our baptismal promises in a more intentional way.”

Now these young Catholics have to deal with the fact that their spiritual director was busted by police giving another priest a blow job in Miami Beach.

But no, there’s no crisis of homosexuality in the priesthood. Nope, none at all.

112 Comments (Open | Close)

112 Comments To "Tale Of The Cannoli-Rooting Canonist"

#1 Comment By Ted On September 5, 2018 @ 1:13 pm

Acilius: you’re not serious, are you?

#2 Comment By jacopo On September 5, 2018 @ 1:34 pm

Through silence, these young priests shared an authentic calling to celibacy. We must pray for our priests to have the courage to authentically carry out their vocation to celibate one another fully in each and every daily encounter of celibacy without the fear of scapegoating, self-righteousness, and small-mindedness. For fear is a stumbling-block to truly walking in the light of freedom to be celibate with not only our mouths and hearts, but also our whole bodies. For when we speak of this charism, every entrance must be open to welcome the gift of the celibate encounter.

#3 Comment By Another James On September 5, 2018 @ 4:11 pm

Engineer Scotty:

they are closeted gay men doing what closeted gay men have often done in situations where there was neither a safe “gay scene” available

Clearly, you’ve not visited Miami.

#4 Comment By Acilius On September 5, 2018 @ 4:52 pm

Ted: Sure. If there were orgies in the rectory or whatever, that would tell you a lot about how things stand in the Archdiocese of Chicago. But what two low-level guys do in a known cruising spot when they are 1300 miles from home doesn’t tell you anything.

Maybe there is so much casual gay sex among priests in Chicagoland that these guys thought they could get away with anything anywhere, maybe they were desperately trying to find a place where they could hide from the all-seeing vigilance of that fearless scourge of sinners Archbishop Cupich, maybe any set of circumstances in between. Other information might make one scenario seem likelier than another in this case, but there are so many gay dudes who go in for this sort of thing that any organization of any kind that is as big as the Archdiocese of Chicago might discover that it has a two of them among its less distinguished members. If the senior figures are regularly turning up on police blotters for gross indecency, that’s a different matter, but two among the no-hopers at the bottom of the hierarchical ladder is no indicator.

#5 Comment By Ted On September 5, 2018 @ 5:27 pm

jacopo: Me like-um plenty.

#6 Comment By Marc On September 5, 2018 @ 6:51 pm

I’m sure the plight of these priests is prone to such condescending euphemisms as “cannoli,” but no seems to want to address the mental anguish of these two in trying to hide their homosexuality.

This type of behavior is all too common in gays who think their homosexuality is a disorder that needs to be prayed away by God. Doesn’t work and never has. That is why reparative therapy is outlawed in several states.

I can’t fathom ever joining any religion as a gay man, but I have met dozens who struggle daily with it and think religion will be their cure all. What often happens is they go underground, maybe get married and eventually are found out by spouses or families.

Instead of the endless stark about two priests caught in a car, maybe the discussion needs to focus on why society forces closeted gays into the situation that they think priesthood is their only option to cure a “disorder” that isn’t a disorder in the first place.

[NFR: It’s society’s fault! Society made those two priests get it on in a car in broad daylight on a busy Miami street! Bad society! Bad! — RD]

#7 Comment By jacopo On September 5, 2018 @ 9:11 pm

We must not let the angry noise of a society that is so quick say “No!” drown out the joyful “Yes!” of interior celibate spaces.

#8 Comment By John On September 5, 2018 @ 11:24 pm

Okay Marc. But why didn’t they get a room? Are there no hotels in Miami?

#9 Comment By Acilius On September 6, 2018 @ 9:20 am

Rod: I don’t expect you to agree with Marc’s point. But I am disappointed that you don’t share his desire that these two poor schnooks be treated with empathy. People like McCarrick, Ricca, and the other villains around the pope demand our outrage, as do all those who have abused children. But these guys are just losers. That in itself makes it unfortunate that they were ordained to the priesthood, but it is silly to pretend that they represent anything worse than their own miserable selves.

#10 Comment By Ted On September 6, 2018 @ 9:45 am

jacopo: have you ever tried saying the name Antonio Spadaro in a Fonzie voice. Works perfectly.

#11 Comment By John On September 6, 2018 @ 10:31 am

Who cares? If the worst thing happening in the Catholic church is two priests in equal positions of power giving each other blow jobs, I fail to see the problem.

As long as priests aren’t allowed to get married, gay men are going to be dis-proportionally attracted to the priesthood and this sort of thing will keep going on. They need to let them get married already.

#12 Comment By Siarlys Jenkins On September 9, 2018 @ 2:50 pm

Who cares?

They failed the test of “where it could frighten the children and the horses.”

And, within the context of the Roman Catholic Church, they are unfit to teach or lead anyone in Roman Catholic doctrine — not matter how stupid any of us may think this or that provision of the doctrine reallyis.