Oh, this is funny. Excerpt:

As homeschooling has grown in popularity, there’s a Barbie™ to meet every need. The Protestant Christian version comes with a miniature Bible (the complete King James version!) and will recite Scripture verses when her hand is pressed. Catholic Homeschool Barbie™ wears a crucifix, chapel veil, and can lead your children in praying the Rosary (in your choice of Latin or English) when her hands are placed together. Secular Homeschool Barbie™ comes complete with a grain mill and Birkenstocks™, and shares her favorite home remedies & recipes with a pat on the back. All three dolls include a variety of Math curricula with manipulatives and chalkboards with tiny real chalk!

And what would a teacher be without students? Children for Homeschool Barbie™ are available in a variety packs of seven girls & boys ranging in age from four to ten, in your choice of matching or non-matching outfits. (Cloth-diapered infants & toddlers sold separately)

Additionally, you can purchase a Homeschool Barbie™ Dreamhouse™, with a whopping 12 rooms and without the nuisances of cable hookups or internet access. (Barn and livestock sold separately) For transportation, there’s the Big White Barbie™ Van, which seats up to 15 in comfort and safety. (Carseats not included)

Read it all. They’ve got our number!