Let Costco cater your Apocalypse with its $3,200 Food For Four People For Nine Months package. Or, if you prefer, order a la carte and take home such delicacies as chicken-flavored soybean product. Oy.
It has been pointed out to me that French oysters are not included in the package. Well, of course not. Being perfect in every way, by the time the Apocalypse comes, they will have been Raptured straight to the wedding banquet in heaven. Duh!
(H/T: Reader Brad P.)