People of America: You cannot imagine how delicious French mayonnaise is! Our leaders are concealing this fact from us, no doubt to sell more Hellmann’s. Above I give you cheap supermarket mayo — $1.20 for the tube above. “Taste this,” said wife. “It’s like you’ve never tasted mayonnaise before.”

Yes, it does. It is. Whatever. Dang, this stuff is great. How do they do it? How do they make the most mundane food products so delicious? We’re going to bring lots of this stuff back. The customs inspectors are going to wonder who these people are with a suitcase full of mayonnaise, mustard, and confiture.

I recognize that with this post, I probably cross the last boundary in French food-culture cheerleading. But it really is something how the most mundane things here delight me. I went to Sainte-Chapelle today, and it was, of course, exalting in its effect. But God help me, I probably was more excited about that mayonnaise.