When I was a kid, I used to wonder where was this place, Orientar, that the three kings came from.

I also wondered about that line from “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” that said “In Bethlehem, in Jewry, our blessed babe was born.” I thought: “Why was Jesus born covered in jewelry?” Re: jewels, my parents said “JOOL-ry,” but my grandparents said “JEW-ry,” and I just assumed the carol was old-timey, and required pronouncing “jewelry” my grandparents’ way.

You have any other kid logic conundrums from Christmas?

Oh, one other thing. One of my favorite Christmas carols is “Good King Wenceslas,” but that’s something I came to in adulthood. We never sang it as children. Not sure why. Anyway, I cannot hear the melody without the words “The lime and lemon taste of Sprite” and “Sprite makes brighter holidays/Limon is the reason” coming to mind, because the soft drink had a holiday commercial appropriating the tune. Verily, brethren and sistren, my rage at Sprite over having colonized that melody in my mind is quite unappeasable!