From the North Korean newspaper Rodung Sinmun’s most recent analysis of the US presidential election dynamics:

The Romney’s were on their journey by car, having their pet dog in a basket for some 12 hours. On the way the dog was found suffering from loose vowels. Romney got off the car at an oil station and hosed down the dog to wash it.

This, however, caused an immediate rebuff from the pet lovers. They blamed him for cruelty to pet. An organization named “Pets against Romney” was formed and there was a demonstration in New York against his cruelty on the pet.

A little later Mrs. Romney appeared on TV. Excusing her family, she said: “The dog looked gay then.” This added fuel to the pet lovers’ anger.

A gay dog’s loose vowels. Man, Romney really is history’s greatest monster. We have it on Pyongyang’s authority.