In this predictable August news lull, the Obama and McCain campaigns seem to be conspiring with the media to scrape hitherto unfathomed depths of the publicity barrel.

That pathetic Paris Hilton response ad has at last–fingers crossed–washed itself out the news cycles, but only after pols and pundits spent days insisting that they found Miss Hilton’s stunt “hilarious.” (It really wasn’t. To his credit, Obama spokesman Bill Burton reacted to the video by saying, “Whatever.”)

Now, however, it emerges that both candidates, fumbling around for the zeitgeist, have told Entertainment Weekly that they want to be Batman.

“He does justice sometimes against insurmountable odds,” said McCain. “And he doesn’t make his good works known to a lot of people.”

Obama, for his part, said that he could relate to the Caped Crusader and Spider Man, because “they have some inner turmoil.” How very postmodern, as Jonah Goldberg would say.(Apologies, Daniel.)