One of the more unfortunate things I have experienced recently was watching the extended version of the trailer for the new adaptation of The Three Musketeers. I’m not sure when they lost me, but it was probably when Orlando Bloom appears onscreen as “Buckingham,” the mastermind of those famous 17th-century aerial gunships under the control of the big, bad Cardinal Richelieu. I don’t begrudge remakes some of their liberties in changing things here and there, but must they be so painfully stupid? Granted, we’re a long way removed from the era when Three Musketeers movies meant having Oliver Reed as Athos and Richard Chamberlain as Aramis, but back then there was some minimal effort made to make the movies agree with the original stories. Now it has become little more than an excuse for the director who gave you the Resident Evil series and Alien vs. Predator to blow up early modern France on film. What a pointless waste.