And not just any troll, but an especially persistent and cruel one. Rather than try to summarize it, I’d just ask you to read Leo Traynor’s story and then come back here and tell me: Did he handle the situation properly? I have my own (somewhat inchoate) thoughts, but I’d like to hear yours first.
Confronting a Troll
22 Responses to Confronting a Troll
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Sue Collins says:
Wow. I am staggered by this. Yes, I do think he did the right thing, but there is more to be done. He needs to respectfully follow up with the parents to make sure they are monitoring his electronics and getting appropriate counseling. What a stark testimony to the evils of unrestrained social technology use, especially among the immature.
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Damon Linker says:
What a chilling story. I’m unsure what to think about how Leo handled it. I suppose I’m impressed with the mercy he showed. But I’m concerned that the punishment (humiliation) was insufficient to the transgression. If the 17 year old had left it at Internet harassment, then maybe it would have been fitting. But once it crossed into the “real” world–ashes, Hitlerian notes, dead flowers–it became far more than some twisted virtual-reality game for the young man. It became something genuinely sociopathic. It sounds to me like the behavior of a guy who might go shoot up a movie theatre a few months or years from now. One can only hope that his parents do more to address the problem than give him a stern look and say they’re “very disappointed” in him.
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jparker says:
That’s an amazing piece. But I think the Troll Kid crossed a line when he actually went out, got ashes, and mailed them in a box to the guy’s house. It’s one thing, if terrible, to be a stupid kid harassing someone via email; it’s quite another to take the time to get ashes and dead flowers and leave them on your target’s doorstep. It suggests that there was something really off and very troubling about this kid, far beyond the boundaries of crappy adolescent bullying and game-talk, and that he merits a lot of scrutiny in the future.
Traynor staring him in the face and making him take responsibility for his actions probably helped more than sending him to jail–maybe this will be a turning point in his life.
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Gerard says:
Wow, Leo Traynor is a better man than I. I would have had one operating principle, lex talionis. No way I’d let this psychopathic kid off without at least destroying his life. I’d do what needed to be done. Just like Elvis’s belt buckle, TCB (Taking Care of Business), baby.
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Leviticus says:
A nice Yom Kippur story that doesn’t quite ring true. On its face it is a case for law enforcement, not for a preachy, self-congratulatory blog post.
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Patrick Harris says:
Given the horrific abuse he suffered, I can’t fault Mr. Traynor’s response a whit. While it generally pays to ignore the buzzing gnats on the Internet, the case here was far worse than a typical trolling experience (thought not, I fear, as uncommon as one might think). Given the sheer viciousness of the thing, I think his treatment of the pimply culprit was a model of charity.
Unfortunately, the internet culture that fed the antics of Traynor’s troll is far more prevalent and vile than some older people realize. There’s nothing new under the sun when it comes to cruelty, but the anonymity that comes with the Web and the heavy concentration of bored, often-socially isolated young men helps cultivate a sensibility that is breathtakingly jaded and delights in offense for its own sake, to a degree that many people who are not familiar with this subculture are shocked to discover (as a 20-something male, I’ve seen this firsthand on numerous occasions, unfortunately. Seems to me that Mr. Traynor did the best he could do in the face of latter-day barbarism.
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CDK says:
I read the link. Yes, I think he handled the situation well, but the fact that it was his friend’s son helped him there. The online world inspires great ambivalence in me. While online anonymity can contribute to a greater freedom to express, or at least argue out, viewpoints one might be more reluctant to offer in open public, this is one of its perils. Furthermore, I sometimes wonder if it’s all that great for our intellectual development–ease of communication does not always equal better communication. Finally, I’m not sure children should be allowed to be on the internet very much, for these and other reasons.
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Alan Jacobs says:
Thanks for these replies (and, in advance, for others). Several of you have expressed a version of the concern I have: what if the kid learns from this that you can engage in a three-year campaign of vile abuse and in the end get no worse than an embarrassing few moments and a handshake in recompense? Mightn’t that just encourage him to “play” the same “game” with someone else — since the negative consequences are minor to the point of insignificance? Traynor’s graciousness could make life much more difficult for someone else down the line.
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sal magundi says:
i’m impressed that his parents were willing to go to the gardai.
“a preachy, self-congratulatory blog post”
if i had that kind of self-control i’d congratulate myself too
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Michael Sheridan says:
Something I’m a little surprised an agnostic like me has to be the first to point out: Traynor’s response was an example of grace, mercy granted to an unworthy and undeserving vessel. Whether or not the youth actually does take advantage of this grace is not relevant to the fact that it is possible he could.
In the same situation, I would not have been so merciful. Nor would I feel any shame for dealing harshly with this recreant, who certainly merits harsh treatment. I hope his his future behavior is monitored by those who know of this incident for long years after. However, although it may prove a false hope that the young man reforms, few people alive have not benefited at some point from second chances.
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I found the response Solomonic in terms creativity, but falling short of wisdom in a couple of respects: 1) That kind of craziness doesn’t come out of a boy ex nihilo. My money’s on some serious failures on the part of his father. 2) The ubiquitous faith in “counseling” always causes me a bout of ocular rotation. Unless it is rooted in the Bible, counseling just applies worldliness to worldliness. Only the gospel can effectively address sin.
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tbraton says:
That story reminds me of something that happened years ago, long before Al Gore invented the internet. My father had caught some youth doing something criminal, serious enough to warrant calling the cops. (I was not there, so I can’t recall the exact details and don’t remember hearing the story until years later.) My father was not an educated man but he was a decent person, with a very tough core. Having apprehended the youth (a teenager), he told him sternly that he could call the cops but wouldn’t because he didn’t want to ruin his life. He did warn him that, if he ever did anything like that again, he would definitely report him to the cops. About 10 years later, after I had moved out of the house, I was visiting my parents for dinner, as I did at least once a week. In the course of the meal, my father reported that the same young man had knocked on his door a few days earlier and wanted to thank him for not reporting him to the cops years ago and that he had taken my father’s warning to heart. I could tell from my father’s reaction that he very surprised by the young man’s actions but inwardly very pleased. The fact that the young man made a point of returning years later to thank my father indicates to me that he was sincere in what he said. I’m not sure how I would have acted in my father’s place, but that story has stayed with me for more than 40 years and I hope has made me a more tolerant person.
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tbraton,
This wasn’t a 17-year being young and stupid. This was sustained, vicious terrorism. Where’s a drone when you need one? I admire Traynor’s charity but I don’t think the kid will change. Except that he might manifest his sociopathy in a different way. I think at the very least Traynor needs to document and compile this stuff together with the kid’s identifiers, and get it on every permutation of a Google search. This individual is dangerous and cannot be allowed to get into a position of trust in the future, but it govt, business, the law.
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Chris says:
It was like a game thing.
The virtual world does not instill empathy.
It’s a real problem when behaviors fostered in the virtual world start being manifest in the real world.
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Traynor’s response was either perfect or the complete opposite. It all depends upon the nature of the kid.
If, at heart, he’s a good kid, he will be consumed by shame and guilt and move down a different path.
If he’s a bad kid, he will sweep those scant moments of guilt under the carpet and forge that into even greater hostility against other people. Perhaps not Traynor, but he’ll aim it in a different direction and use whatever rationale he can fabricate in order to justify his actions.
I agree w/ other commenters that this is no time to just sit around and wait to see which path the kid goes down. Vigilant oversight is needed. His parents need to check his ass on a regular basis.
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Johnny F. Ive says:
He was on good terms with the family so he handled it pretty good. He achieved his objective in being left alone but did he change the kid? I doubt it. I think the kid was scared, felt guilty, and lied to him about the reason. I think the reason the kid did it is probably because the kid is a racist who has read too many anti-Semitic conspiracy websites. He was targeted for a reason unless the kid is at war with all. I think the kid is dangerous because he acts out his political beliefs like an internet Brevik.
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Darth Thulhu says:
This being Yom Kippur time, it would be worth emulating the Talmudic interpretation of what it means to atone:
1) Admit responsibility for what one did
2) Apologize
3) When similar situations arise, don’t do it againThe kid has done the first two, and needs to be monitored in regard to the third. The author was a real mensch in how he handled the confrontation, and is to be commended for walking the talk.
All that said, it is frankly rather uncomfortable for me to read all the “good” mostly-Christians in this site’s commentariat holding to a *less* forgiving and *less* graceful and *less* merciful morality than legalistic Judaism. The majority response seems to be “proto-psychopath deserves as much jailtime as we can possibly arrange” … and then what?
The kid is going to be an adult on the street sooner or later. No law is going to put him behind bars forever for being hateful and non-violently terroristic. Do we want him to get better, or not? Do we want to do the hard work of confronting him and insisting he become better, or would we rather outsource the job to the cops?
Kudos to the author for the backbone and strength of characte to confront this fallen person himself, rather than making it someone else’s problem.
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Yeah, I (speaking as a Christian) agree with Thulhu. Might Traynor’s response end up having the opposite effect on the kid? I suppose. But so might his having gone to the authorities, and putting the kid through whatever punishment or rehabilitation the government deems appropriate. I’m not sure I have any more faith in that option.
It depends very much on what the parents do now (monitor their kid much more closely, and learn to communicate better with him, for starters, I would hope) and on what sort of person the boy is at his core. I don’t know what to do but to have faith that this act of grace will be taken to heart. (The only other thought I have is that it might be worthwhile for the kid’s punishment to be something along the lines of volunteering at a synagogue, so that he can put faces and personalities with the people he defamed so awfully, along with severely restricted internet access, which I would hope is a given.)
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chipotle says:
Traynor’s experience was horrifying.
Traynor was terrorized for literally no reason. (Even the “game thing” doesn’t seem to have been an actual game with rules, etc.)
One of the easiest points to make is that the person who did this wasn’t a technically proficient but emotionally stunted 12-year old. It was a 17 year old. In any era prior to, say, the latter third of the 20th Century, he would be justly classified as a man.
How did things go so awry?
How did he get so callous and depraved?To put a finer point on it: upon hearing the story in some detail, should we blame parents, schooling, or the broader culture?
I would only hasten to say we probably should NOT blame internet anonymity. As you can see, I post anonymously. I have unpopular opinions and I would hate to lose a future job or something because of my crackpot ideas about non-interventionist foreign policy or cannabis legalization.
I also think that Traynor was right to show mercy. Ironically, for someone being persecuted under the color of anti-semitism, he chose the Christian tenet of “turn the other cheek” rather than a more Old Testament response.
Honestly, I’m no sort of hippie but I really think that his request that the kid gets counseling is the best (and it’s not very good) thing we can do in this morally disordered world.
Gosh, that story just makes me sick.
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Irenist says:
These two comments struck me as an interesting juxtaposition:
“Where’s a drone when you need one?”
“The virtual world does not instill empathy.” -
Tim in California says:
Amazing story, and tragic. While I believe Mr. Traynor did the right thing in not turning the troll over to the police, there is no reason to think he will not do it again. The question is not if he is good at heart; rather the question is will he now turn away from the joy he experienced when torturing this poor man, or will the boy continue in his ways? Just as in “real life” there are consequences for our actions, so there should be for this young man. These should consist of two parts:
1. Disciple If I was this boys father, after weeping over the fact I was unable to protect my son from his own evil desires, I would forbid him to use the internet for 6 months. If he is truly sorry and realizes the impact of his actions, he will accept this course of action. Although in this case, I doubt his father has enough influence in his son’s life to make this stick.
2. Restitution The boy needs to do something to demonstrate his sorrow to the victim: work for Mr. Traynor, write an essay on great Jews in history, service within the Jewish communuity. It should be something which demonstrates a turning away from his habitual perverted thinking to something truthful and good and right.
These actions provide some justice and are both loving and helpful to the boy; he is forced to come to terms with what he has done.
When I was about 15 years old, a friend and I stole a few boxes of school supplies from a nearby warehouse. My mother found them in my room, and my parents took me to the district superintendents office. Along with a stern lecture from this man, every Saturday for the first 8 weeks of my summer break were spent sweeping, organizing, cleaning bathrooms, and serving in this storage facility. I did not steal after that. While dramatic showdowns are good and can be effective, loss of privilege and time reinforce the severity of his actions, and submission to these things demonstrate change of heart to all involved.
Read this yesterday. I thought the way he handled it was very decent of him, considering what the little s#%t put him and his family through. But the kid strikes me as a potential sociopath — somebody who can do awful things without compunction and then shed crocodile tears and sound sincerely apologetic when caught. I’d be very concerned if I were his parents.