In all seriousness, I thought when Cardinal Ratzinger was elected pope, he would basically be the Dowager Countess. Alas.

UPDATE: I can’t believe I have to say this, but judging by some of the comments, I suppose I do: I do not want the Catholics to elect a female pope, and I recognize that such is a theological impossibility. This. Is. A. Joke. It’s about my affection for the witty reactionary Dowager Countess.